On Love and Death

Everything that could be written on love and death has already been said. There are no original ideas left...just the reiteration with maybe a new background.

Basically, if you've experience the death of a loved one...well, it just sucks. It's been almost two years since I lost my momma (gee, was it at the Mall of America? How funny we say "lost" when we mean "ripped from our lives.") I still can't wrap my mind around the idea that I will never see her again...until....death do us reunit.

I talk to her a lot and I believe that she talks back to me in sudtle ways without words. Sometimes I see her in my dreams. Sometimes it's just a presence in the room and I talk to it thinking it is my husband only to find out he's in the back bedroom.

She died in May 06 and the following September a petunia grew under the hedges in the front window. I didn't plant it there, it just grew on its own. I swear it is my mom.

When there was no hope I'd get on an overbooked plane in Atlanta this past August; after being told the plane was overbooked with seven people ahead of me on standby, my name was called to board, I knew it was divine intervention...Mom got me on that plane.

When a person you're at odds with loses a parent, especially a mom, all feelings of comtempt are gone. They are with me. I know how much this sucks and no matter how much I hurt over whatever it was that made me at odds with that person....it's gone. Vanished. Almost as quickly as the anger I had at my mom for not being the perfect Mom much of my life. After losing her...it just faded away.