Merry Christmas and Church last night

Phil and I went to church last night like we always do on Christmas Eve. We go late. We love the candles and the bells at midnight. We went to the First Christian Church of Edmond. We have gone there for every Christmas eve since moving to Edmond. It's a nice church, big and full of light...well until the lights go down...then it's really dark.

I feel bad because we do not know anyone. I said Merry Christmas to the ladies next to us but I wanted to say more (not during the service mind you, but before it got started.) I hate not feeling connected. Even when it was over, I wanted to rejoice "Merry Christmas" to everyone in sight but I consciencely restrained myself. (Yes, I choice I made and didn't have to go that way. Maybe I'm just shy. I can see those who know me, right now rolling their eyes to the ceiling at that thought.)

The service was very nice; a good mixture of gospel and song. One thing that bothered me though is this. One of the talkers...who could be a minister but I'm not sure...talked about an experience he had at Walmart. He apparently came upon a little boy who was wanting to buy a doll. His aunt told him he didn't have enough money for it. She conveniently slipped away down the aisle so this man was alone with the boy in the aisle. He asked the boy about the doll; why did he want to buy it. The boy explained he wanted to get his for sister who was in heaven and his mother was going to be joining her soon. The man asked the little boy to recount his money and while he helped him with this, he slipped in some extra money. The boy, to his delight, determined he did indeed had enough money for the doll and also for a white rose for his mother. Off the boy went with the aunt.

Later, the man discovered a report on the news that a woman and her little daughter were victims of a drunk driver. The little girl died on the scene and the mother was in a coma...her prognosis not very good. Days later he read that she did die. He went to the funeral home and found the mother...a doll and a white rose in the her casket with her.

It's a nice story to know that his minister was able to help this little boy with his grief and for the man to see a true meaning of Christmas. What bothers me is that this didn't happen to the minister...it happened to someone else. It might be petty but to personalize the story, to me, seems wrong. It's almost a form of plagiarism.

Last year he did this too; a story where all the people in line at Walmart handed up money to a single mom, who at the checkout didn't have enough. This too didn't happen in Edmond. I read it on the Internet.

I know what the point of the story is. I just think he should give some kind of disclaimer that this happened somewhere else and that the story had been relied to him from a different source.

Gawd, I hope this doesn't make me a scrooge.

Aw..Religion and Sins

I will be the first to admit, what I know about the Bible and religion you could stick in your bellybutton and still have room for your thumb.

I found a non-fiction book yesterday called...Understanding Your Man in the Mirror...something like that. It was a self help book for wives wishing to understand their husbands better. This book is heavy on religion. It says that all men (unless they are not heterosexual) will lust for woman who are not their wives and this is a sin. They need to pray to God to forgive them and then give them the strength to stop this activity. This is temptation. When I say lust, I don't mean stalkers who hide in the bushes with their extermities hanging out while they watch sunbathing women in meagerly clad outer wear. (This I know is wrong.) But the book says men who look at their waitress and have fleeting thoughts of a lapdance...this kind of lust. It's a sin!

I was in the lunchroom at work while I read this and told "P" about my findings. She totally agreed. This is a sin.

We got into a discussion about amendments..I mean commandments and what is needed to get to Heaven. I asked her why God gives us the ability to have desires like having fleeting thoughts of being (in the Biblical sense) with others who are not your spouse. She says this is the devil and God has given us Free Will to make the right choices.

For a man to look at a woman and think, deep in the back of his mind, "gee I wonder how she'd be in bed?"....a rather simple unhurtful fleeting thought is not a sin. Sorry, but even in my ignorant state I can't believe God would do that. If no one gets hurt, where's the offense?

My God wouldn't make life that hard.

More on this soon.

Friends, Gifts and Business

Okay, here's the scoop. I became friends w/ my co-worker Dee when I started working here in 1999. I began in February so by the time Christmas rolled around, we had developed a friendship. We exchanged birthday and Christmas gifts..like friends do. Then, a couple years later, Dee became my boss. This didn't change our gift exchanging traditions. A couple more years later, Dee became everyone's boss.

Now I give to her and she gives to me what she gives to everyone. For my birthday, I got a card. Not a special card; not a gift. Just a run-of-the-mill, from a box, not even from the card stand. For Christmas she handed out little tins of chocolate, cute but not like it used to be. It's not that I want a gift; that's not the issue! But she's my immediate supervisor (she only manages two employee directly but she manages all the managers who manage everyone else.) I can understand her thinking that she doesn't want to show favoritism but we were friends first and it hurts to think I'm nothing more to her than a subordinate.

The VP of the department gave the receptionist a gift for her birthday. I can understand him giving it to her, she does a lot to keep the phones answered. I understand that. Wouldn't others here understand if Dee did something special for me? I seriously doubt anyone would complain that she was showing favoritism. We were friends first, I work directly under her. It makes sense.

My fellow employee, who is also directly managed by Dee, asked me if I wanted to go in with her on something for Dee for Christmas. I told her I'm really ambivalent about it; should I continue to give her gifts? I'm giving something to everyone. I like to do this but I don't think I will be giving Dee anything better than what everyone else is getting.

I know in the whole scheme of things, this is really petty. It's just what's going through my mind.

Holiday Newsletter

Each year we have send out, to family and friends, our Holiday Newsletter from Oklahoma. Phil has always confessed he didn't like doing it; that he would rather send cards. Cards are good too if you have the time to sit down and write them out. We have over 70 to prepare to mail out. As an alternative, I started writing our year long News from the Okies.

Last year, I let Scruffy write it. It was good...a few mistakes could be found but what do you want from a dog? Scruffy talked about her advertures when she was "home alone" each day. Some days she slept on the sofa, sometimes in her basket; sometimes, when she really wanted to mix things up a bit, she'd sleep in the sun under the sky light in the master bath. In the letter she'd tell all that; how what Phil and I were doing would affect her. It was cute.

Yesterday, I told Phil that Scruffy needed to get going on this year's letter. Phil's response surprised me. "We don't do anything worth mentioning!" he declared. "Nobody should care."

My first response to this was, "Well, how does that make you feel? Do you think we should be doing exciting stuff?"

He didn't have an answer.

"Every day we can open our eyes and see the sun and hop in our cars to go to work is something worth mentioning. If we can breath, we can celebrate."

And that's how I feel.

Sunday Sunday - And colonnscopy news

Today is a lazy day. I think I am still working on recovering from my colonoscopy last Thursday because all I have done today is watch football and sleep. Oh Bills won by the way - yeah! Anyway, sleeping during the day is such a luxury. I was on the sofa, under my electric throw blanket and I said to Phil, "Life is good!"

Electric throw blankets are wonderful. Phil gave it to me for Christmas last year. This is definately the gift that keeps on giving. Several times, I'd sleep a little, wake up and proclaim, "I love my blankee!" Then I'd watch a some football, then go back to sleep. It was wonderful.

The colonnoscopy, for those who have been putting it off, isn't that bad. The preparation is the worse part. Even drinking the 16 eight ounce glasses of whatever isn't that bad. I got the power stuff that you can mix with water, juice, tea, coffee, even coke (but it takes the fizz out of it, so you might not want to go there) The power is indeed tasteless. But drinking 64 onces of anything is hard. I mixed my stuff with this orange drink from Minute Maid or some similiar OJ company and it wasn't bad. Of course, I have no interest even now to consume this drink even without the powder. Not at this time.

The instructions I received from the doctor's office did not say you have 4 hours to drink all this. I called them when I was on my 13th glass and 45 minutes had passed. I was relieved to know I had several hours before it had to be all consumed. I decided to get it over with and just finished the last three glasses. Shortly there after....the games begin. My advice: stay very close by to the commode...bring in plenty of reading material.

Hunger is your next biggest enemy. Jello really does fill you if you consume enough of it. And it can stay with you for 20 minutes. You just have to keep shoveling it in. Try not to watch TV because the Subway commericials will make you cranky. Between shoveling Jello and doing all that reading...time will fly.

I found it amusing that the waiting room at the ASC is a good 30 seconds running from the restroom. This is a design flaw for sure. I mean, you probably won't need it by the time you get there, but after your prep experiences you know to not trust this.

After filling out all the paperwork and being asked for the 15th time, "are you allergic to any drugs," you get into the room. As I sat there, this one man comes in and says "Hi, I'm John, I'll be helping with your procedure."

"Hi John," I say, "I'm Eva. I'll be your patient today."

John laughs.

"So John, what are your credentials?" I ask.

"I'm a Gastroentologist Specialist. I help the doctor out with the equipment," John says.

"Oh," I pause, "So you won't be seeing my naked butt, right?"

He turns from the equipment and I can see the wheels turning in his head. "Well, actually....yes, I will."

"Oh. But I'm just another face in the crowd, huh?"

John laughs again.

I get undressed and get in bed. John comes back in and says he needs to get the scope. He comes back with this hose thingy and attaches the one large end to the machine.

"I'm glad to see that end goes in there." I point to the machine.

The nurse explains that another nurse will be in to administer some drugs to my IV so I will not be aware of much. The doctor comes in and talks to me a bit and then says, "Okay, lay on your left side."

"Wait!" I blurt, "I haven't gotten any drugs yet."

"Yeah, you will."

Sure enough a lady who tells me her name is Lesley comes in and adds some lines to my saline circulating IV. It will sting a little, she tells me. It does. The TV is in front of me and I think this will be cool to see what my colon looks like.

I never see my colon. I never see John seeing my naked butt. The next thing I know, Phil is sitting at my feet and the first nurse is telling me it's over. I knew nothing.

On the way home we stop at Subway. I wait in the car and think about getting home to my "blankee."

It's not that bad.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Well, I made it half way to 90! Yikes. How can I be 45? I was in class last Tuesday night. I was talking to one of my classmates. We got on the subject of birthdays.

"I'm going to 45 on Saturday," I said.
"Oh really," she offered all bubbly, "My mom just turned 40!"
"Oh righty now."

To top off the start of my 45th year, I'm schedule for a colonoscopy on Thursday and a bone density test on the following Tuesday. Oh righty now...yes, let the games begin!

What I need....

This is too funny.

Borrowed from Phil....
INSTRUCTIONS: Ok, go to Google. Type in "(your name) needs" Remember to use the quotes. And remember to replace (your name) with your actual name. First name only. Look at the 5 websites that say you need something. (Use different websites) What are the 5 things you need?

This is what I got...(I got 7 I liked)

1. Eva needs to work on toning down the spunk and serving up some elegance.


2. Eva needs to review all her medications with her physician, including the information that she discontinued a prescribed drug.


3. This means Eva needs her revenge, and she could use some help getting it.


4. Lonely and devastated, Eva needs love like any other human being, but love is something she'll never find; instead, she's stuck in a cell with Elvira, who is as predatory as the men on the outside who ruined her life.


5. What Eva needs is solitude; she needs time to be with herself. Now that Burt is no longer a burden to her, she can lead her own life and make her own decisions without the constant worry of his harassment.


6. Eva needs to find the source of a mysterious illness sweeping across Africa.


7. Eva needs to understand the connection between anxiety and the fear of moving.

Too funny!

Politically Correct?

Today my boss, Dee, was talking to me about a report I gave her. The VP of the department came over and Debi stopped talking to me and directed all her attention to the VP. VP Man did not apologize for the interuption. He just kept talking to Debi like it was expected of her to stop our dialogue to focus on him. I said, "Dee, come back here and talk to me." She said, "I will in a minute."

Now, I know I'm a pion. I get that, but my time is valuable too. Personally I think Dee should have said, "VP Man, I'll get back right with you in a minute, I'm talking to Eva." But I get the feeling I'm dreaming. If Dee and VP Man were meeting and I needed her, I'd have to wait until they were done or, if it was a serious emergency, I'd have to apoligize for the interuption. Is it wrong to ask for the same kind of consideration? The time I spend with Dee is not for fun and games. It's for work. I just don't get it. Maybe I'm not happy with my status in the workplace. Maybe it's just me. The world has accepted the notion that VP's carry more weight but for some reason I didn't get that memo.

Just thinking.

I am a lamb.....Baaaaa

You Are A: Lamb!

Peaceful and gentle, lambs have been used in religious imagery for millennia. Lambs are baby sheep, an animal tended by shephards since the dawn of history. As a lamb, you tend to stay together in a flock and graze on grassy land. Lambs don't mind being led and tend not to go off on their own.

You were almost a: Groundhog or a Duckling
You are least like a: Turtle or a ChipmunkWhat Cute Animal Are You?

EMPLOYER WANTED

Dedicated, creative, computer literate individual would like to work for a company who values a good work ethic; who believes in supporting its employees as the employees do their job to better the company; who doesn't tolerant big-headness or a "that ain't my job" attitude; who expects its employees to work together "for the cause"; who embraces the employees other talents that may not fall in their job description; who believes in their employees and actually asks for their input on how to do something better; who gives freely their encouragement and tries to make the workplace a fun place to work.

Dream on, right?

It's just 'stuff"

I had a conversation today with a lady at work about the victims of Katrina. She is suppose to get a displaced family to come and live with her and her daughter. Although I admire her good-nature and big heart, I told her that I don't think I could do it. I'm not so trusting. I work all day. What would this family do while I was gone? I know, I'm too cynical but I can just imagine my laptop, 34" screen televlsion, stereo, CD collection just walking out the door of my home. I told her this. She said, "It's just stuff. If they need it that bad, then so be it...they can take it."

Yeah, it's just stuff but it's my stuff. And yes, the chances of this family being a good family is greater the chances of them being bad people. I guess I believe that. But you just never know and that's what stops me.

I believe my things are things and that if a hurricane or tornato (I'm in Oklahoma, remember) came through and took them from me but left my husband, dog and me in tact, I would be very grateful. Losing them would not be so bad. But if they left me because of someone else's doing, that would be something different. If that makes me materialistic...well, I am.

I am helping out someone who is a victim of Katrina. My friend, John, has a gentleman staying with him who has been displaced. His name is Jose and although I haven't met him yet, I want to help. I put up a flyer at work asking for donations of clothing. I have some people willing and able (they have clothes that will fit him) to donate. I'm glad for that.

I do feel like I'm doing my part. Yes, I could do more, but something is better than nothing, right?

The holiday is over...

Today I took a nap in the middle of the day! And you know why I took a nap? Because I could!!!! Man, I love days like that. I wasn't overly constructive but we did do some things today that needed to get done. We trimmed the hedges. Did laundry. Cooked some foods to have during the week. Life is good.

We also re-connected with our neighbors across the street. I'm so happy for that opportunity. I feel so isolated from my neighbors and I know it is partly my fault because I don't always put myself out there. I think about it a lot but I am a little shy, I guess. Phil is even worse than me. Of course, once the ice is broken we are good.

I remember when our neighbors next door moved in. Phil and I were like Doug and Carrie on The King of Queens.

We had visions of a nice mid-age couple without kids (or grown kids) from out of town who knew nobody so we could become fast friends...maybe even put a gate in between our fences for easy access to each other's yard. Or maybe get one of those pool ladders to straddle the fence. We'd sit in one of our yards, drink beer, maybe get one of those outdoor fireplace so we could sit out there all year round. Of course we'd go over to each other houses, play dominos, eat pizza, watch football.

When they moved in, I wanted to go over pretty quick as they unpacked...you know, stake our claim "They're our friends, gosh darn it!" Phil was more resistant. He wanted to wait but as I walked over, he followed me...tagging along. We went though the usual stuff, names, where they are from, occupations, etc. It was good but far from my visions. Oh, they are nice people but they have lived here all their lives. They don't need any more friends and they are surrounded by family. So we are just on a first name over the fence bases.

We have never gotten invited over. Yes, I haven't invited them either but that is because my house isn't child proof and what do you do with two little kids while the adults pay dominos. It would be so much easier if they invited us over. It's been two yaars and it hasn't happened. Phil and I are okay with it, just wish it was different.

I think about the reports you hear on the news where one neighbor is slain in their house and the other neighbor says to the news camera, "Oh, they just kept to themselves. It's a real shame," as they nod their head in disbelief. I don't want to be like that. I really want a sense of a community. I guess I will have to work on this.

Angel over Philip

Hey all. I think this photo is amazing. The picture behind us is really a jigsaw puzzle our friend Tim put together and then had mounted and framed. Tell me you don't see the angel over Philip's head? I swear, I did not doctor this photo up.

Commercial

Have you seen that commercial where the lady is in a row boat with her boyfriend or gentleman caller and suddenly her eyes light up and the announcers start singing..."Gotta go, gotta go..gotta go right now." She has a condition where her bladder needs to be emptied often. I have to wonder, does she not know she has this? Is this the first time this has happened to her? The announcer comes on and lets us all know, she has a reoccuring condition. So my question is why they hell does she get in a row boat in the first place? Did she think the seat lifted up and a toilet appeared? What's up with that?

First Night of school

Well, it had to happen. The summer had to end and school had to start again. Generally I like the end of summer because that means the beginning of fall which is my favorite season...cooler weather, football, the sun isn't so friggin bright on my peepers...but I'm not excited about school this time. I'm taking a 2000 level class on Magazine editing. It's not doing anything for me. Fortunately it's once a week, albeit for three hours every Tuesday from 7:30-10:30.

I had the instructor before for Feature Writing. I snagged an A there although, I have to say, I really deserved it. I managed to get three features published in Oklahoma Women . This was last May, July and September. That was good exposer.

Anyway, maybe there will be kids (yeah right, let's go with that) my age in class. At least I know the instructor is older than me, but not by much. I am what they call a "non-traditional" student. This basically means, I could have given birth to most of the kids in my classes. Okay, not all of them but that would be a good story.

Time for class.

Eddie's Bastard

I just finished this book by William Kowalski. It was so good. He's a great storyteller. The books takes place in Mannville, NY, a fictious town on Lake Erie. The cool part, for me, is that although the town doesn't exist the surrounding towns do. It mentions Angola, NY which is where I grew up, for real! The loved the reference to Buffalo, NY. It made the book that much more fun to read. This is the first book Kowalski wrote that was set in Mannville. I also read his second, The Adventures of Flash Jackson. That was good too but sometimes he got hung up on unneccessary details. I liked them both.

Okay....now I have to do some of my own writing.

Got a confession to make...

Phil went home yesterday..for 11 days! I feel so bad because as I sit here at work I think, "I'm home alone!" and I feel...glee! Pure unadulterated GLEE!!!! I feel guilty about this, but I can't help but feel happy about not having to be subject to baseball on the television or on the Internet; not having to eat at certain scheduled times; not having to plan my getting-ready-for-work activities around anyone elses schedule. I can have Cherios for dinner if I want! I can read in the livingroom because I can keep the television--a novel idea--OFF! I can get a pizza for dinner and it will last me 5 meals! How bad am I?

I might get really deviant too and get a coconut cream pie and eat the whole friggin thing myself right from the TIN...no using a plate (not in one sitting, I'm not THAT bad).

For 11 days I can work on my writing; clean the house; organize my "stuff"; read all the books I have out of the library ...4 right now! Be free!!! Be free!!!! How bad am I?

Check out the Biker Chicks...

I just had to post this here.

Senseless Rules

I have just been informed that i can not listen to the radio after work hours. Even though only a handful of people are here, I can not put on the radio. Okay...whatever. I will do what I need to do to stay employed no matter how totally illogical and petty it might be! It's their rules. If they say I can't wear purple to work, then, by golly, I guess I won't be wearing purple. Never mind the fact there are more important things to dwell on. I'm a reasonable person...especially when faced with the realization I have no other choice.

I am so bad..

Phil is mad at me. I gave away our guest bed. It's a queen and I would love to keep it but I really want to use that room for more than the once a year guest we get and a place to store all fifty zillion TV Guides Phil has collected since Bill Clinton was President.

To be truthful, I had "donation remorse" too. A girl at work said her friend, a single woman, mother of four, was in need of a bed. I've been wanting to get rid of the bed for a while and buy a daybed for the guest room for some time now. I caustionly put my plan into motion when I saw a daybed for sale at an area antiques shop on Broadway. Phil turned a deaf ear to my plan but for some reason I was compelled to move forward with it. Part of me didn't want to "give" it away but then I thought it was against the law to sell mattresses and the next thing I knew I was making a sign for the billetin board in the lunch room. I didn't even put the sign up. Three girls in my department all spoke up for it. They verbally duked it out and decided to give it the person who needed it the most. The winner being the single mom of four. Phil was none to happy when I told him the news.

This morning I went to the antique store to buy the bed...yeah! My luck..it was gone. So the guest bed is now in the pickup bed of Regina's husband's truck on route to a worthy destination, no doubt and my plan has staled.

My new mission is to find a cheap day bed somewhere. Oh, and try to get Phil out of his begruntly charitible funk.