My Brother's visit

Aw, I'm sad to know that Jim is leaving tomorrow. It's been so great having him here this week. He's been a super help for me and for Philip.

Besides being there for us while I went through surgery and recovery, he's also a real handy guy to have around the house. While he was here, we had a couple nasty storms come through. On the morning of my surgery, we had no power as we got ready to go to the hospital. The straight line winds knocked down a couple panels in our fence. Jim was able to temporarily fix it until we are able to get it more permanently replaced. On Monday, Jim and I went to Home Depot and got a ceiling fan/light for the kitchen. Jim started the project at 11:30 and had it up and running around 2pm. It's very nice. It doesn't wobble at all. He did such a great job.

Jim's always in a great mood. Even when it's 100 degrees outside. He went to Home Depot and got two misters to cool us off while I BBQed Chivetta Chicken on Sunday. They worked out great, spraying out a cool fine mist. I don't have to ever worry about entertaining Jim while he's visiting. He's so self-sufficient. He's either on the computer, on the phone, out back misting or going for a walk. He walks a lot...even when it's over 100 degrees out.
He's a great brother! Always has been!

Remembering Mary Mollie

Five years ago yesterday I lost my mama. When I think of what she endured during the final years of her life I am ashamed of my weakness and admission of that weakness. I know with all my heart that she would not hold my pity parties against me. I know she would not judge me but at the same time, none of what chemo has done to me could come close to the pain she endured.

In 1987, just after Philip and I got married, mom fell outside a restaurant fracturing both legs; one in two places. She spent months is traction but this was only the start of her osteopathic nightmare. Rehabing, fracturing, rehabing, fracturing, was the cycle until her death in 2006. On top of this, she grew to become legally blind. My mama broke just about every bone in her body, some even twice. They say it is the hip that most elderly never recover from: I'm here to say that's true. But my mom never gave up! Never allowed herself a pity party. If I said, "my poor mama," she'd correct me that there were others worse off than she.

I have no right to complain about being nauseated, tired, unable to find something appetizing or bald. I know this can get so much worse. I felt pain in my shin today and thought a stress fracture would really suck right now. And given my gene pool, it's not that far out of the whelm of possibility.
I miss my mama so much. I know if she were alive, she'd be here taking care of me, encouraging me to eat. We'd take naps together but before falling off to sleep, she tell me stories of my youth and we'd laugh and laugh.

I know my mama is up in heaven rooting me on, encouraging me to take one day at a time. "it's all gonna work out!" was her favorite expression and I believe her.

Okay, I'm interrupting my moment of self loathing for some gratitude

My 10 year old tantrum is over for the most part. I've found some food that I didn't love but at least I liked it. I got a few things done.
I have to write about Phil's cousins. Phil has an aunt, Aunt Evie, Mama Mahoney's sister. She had a bunch of kids....like the Waltons only they are The Bergers. They all live back in Western NY. Well, all of them sent me a card or two, shared with me stories of their scrap with cancer and faith and our need to stand together. So on Thursday, I wrote them all a letter, thanking them for their cards, prayers and also giving them a status. I sent out 9 letters on Friday to the Berger girls. On Saturday, I got this beautiful boutique of flowers! I hope they see this blog entry to know how much I loved the flowers too.

Phil has some friends at Hertz too. They have been supportive too. I need to thank Linda DeSpiau, Richard Stockwell and Tim Molnar for their wonderful card. I understand that, although her name wasn't on the card, Stephanie Dolison had contributed to my gift card. That is, they gave me a $100 gift card at Walmart. Not only does this mean I have $100 to spend at Walmart, it means I have something to focus on; gawd...what should I buy? It's endless. It gives me something to dream about. Who knew $100 at Wally World could do that? There are books. There's a DVR player. Aw....as soon as I'm up to it: it's Walmart bound I go. Thank you so much Linda, Richard, Tim and Stephanie!