March 18th, 2005

Okay...I'm doing good now.

My "Spring Break" is over now I guess. I did not accomplish all I wanted to do..dang...it was so nice to be off from school. It is going to be intense work from now until the end of the semester. Ewww.....not looking forward to that.

Work was so nice and quiet the past two days as the sick snorting co-worker stayed home to watch NCAA basketball. Oh, I was so spoiled. Debi was off too but she's not noisey...not often. Liz dropped the bombshell...why she and Debi have been in conference more than normal. Liz, much to my dismay, is leaving at the end of the month. She got a better offer...one she couldn't refuse. Gawd, I'm the kiss of death...my good friends, the ones I really connect with, leave me. Ray, Gary, Pam, Joseph, and now Liz. I don't blame her; I just don't like it. Debi must be in agony knowing she has to find a replacement. It will get hairy at work too. It could be interesting. The nice thing about this departure is, Liz understood how important it would be for me to hear it from her before the general population got wind of it. I appreciate her for doing so.

I met Gary for lunch today. He's nice. He's very smart, much more well rounded than me. He knows a lot about a lot. It was nice to see him.

Funny thing for this week: I was wearing earplugs when "snorting co-worker" was in attendance. I discovered if you pitch the plug around the middle of it and push it to one side and lay it on the table...well, it resembles something very funny as it bounces slowly back into shape. Nurse Debbie was laughing her ass off.

Worked out today. Wrote a letter to old boyfriend Dave in Pittsburgh. I wonder if he will respond. Here's the letter...

Dear Dave,

Hi. Surprise! It's me, Eva xxxxx. I thought about writing you for some time now. The thing is, I just can't believe it's been so long…close to twenty-five years since we had any communication. That's a long time to not know how someone you once cared about is doing. Are you happy? I know you married Cheryl; did you have children? Are you still doing accounting? How is your
family? How is Jared? Gosh, he must be close to 30.

There's a country song that goes something like "…. unwritten law, protocol…says to leave the past alone." But I don't know what is wrong with reconnecting on a different level.

I live in Oklahoma. Yeah, I'm an Okie…but not from Muskogee.

Phil and I have been happily married for almost 18 years. We did not have any children (just not in God's plan) but we have nieces and nephews and that is fine.
We have been in OK for seven years. Phil took a job with Hertz. Their data center is here; he's a programmer. I went back to school, at 42 years old, to get my bachelors in Journalism. I'm only going part time so it's taking me a while. I've been working at an insurance company for six years. It's not brain surgery but it pays the bills. I have been freelance writing a bit. (See Okwomanmag.com if you're interested) I hope to get an internship this summer at an ad agency or publication. Life is
good.

I would love to hear from you, just to say "hey." That would be great.

Well, I gotta run. Phil and I meet up at the Y three times a week, after work, to work out. Today's the day. (Rejoice!) Please take care.

Eva

I wrote to the publisher of Metro Family Magazine about an internship. Let's hope something becomes of it.

March 15th, 2005

I will write on my lunch hour now. I need to do more of this.

I mailed out a "brosuresume" w/ a letter to Brainstorm. They are an ad agency in Edmond. I want to intern there this summer. Debi has agreed to let me work 8 hours / per for 10 weeks. It's very nice of her. I can't help but wonder though if she's doing it because she's hoping to get rid of me. There is no benefit to the company to let me intern. Oh silly me. She's just being nice. Anyway, I really like the brosuresume. It outlines my work experience, education and acheivements. Let's see what happens.

Phil is doing really well on his diet. He's down 21 lbs. I don't notice it on him and this upsets him but I can't help it. I just don't see it....well maybe a little....if I squint. He wants to drop 9 more lbs. I have dropped some too but I think I got it all back. We have been good about going to the Y though...3 times /week. We went last night.

Thought for the time between now and the next thought:
"I'm a reasonable person....I will do whatever is needed when faced with the realization I have little choice."

This includes acceptance of a co-worker who hacks up a lung every 90 seconds and then pulls the snot out of his head so he can swallow it. I am lead to believe I have no choice in these matters. He has a medical condition. I should be thankful it's not gas. I wish I had known about this back in my days at Jaeckle when I cried all the time. I could just have told them it's a medical condition (behaviorial but still a medical condition) and it can not be helped.

Something is up w/ Debi and Liz. They have been in conference more than usual and have meet up outside of work too. I don't know. It reminds me of Chari and Lori and Me...the third wheel who got left behind all the time. I liked it better when they were fighting. So many things remind me of how little I have changed. Maybe someday I will find some peace. But not like Josette did.