I'm in charge

Since my boss is away for the holiday, and my co-worker is out too, I am in charge! Yep! I'm the boss! The Big Cheese!

I'm in control....of me. Yeah, not a whole lot of pull here but since I AM the boss I decided to really crack the whip. I mean it! I was really pushing myself around today...really being in charge. Why, I even sexually harassed myself!

Now, I know that sounds really bad and I probably should turn myself in but all that power? How could I not?

I kept smacking myself on the butt and saying out loud, "Good job honey, good job!" That's the beauty of sexual harassment...you at least get some positive feedback.

I'm one of THOSE mothers....

I just have to post these pictures of my little girl. She has them on her blog...The Life of Becca...but I wanted to post them here too because she is sooooooo cute....(in my unbiased opinion).

She really didn't want any part of this. I tried to put the santa hat on her...nothing doing so I'm just happy to get her with Jingle Bear. She's my girl! (Becca....not Jingle Bear.)

YouTube - Ode to the Buffalo Bills

YouTube - Ode to the Buffalo Bills

Things I need to......

I really would like to understand politics. I'm really not clear on liberals. Is it liberism. Isn't this where you are generous...where you give....a lot? See I don't know. I hear a lot of liberal bashing on XM radio. The talk shows like to lump people together..."...these damn liberals...." they say. What if liberalism had a color....you sure wouldn't lump them together like that.

I really need to write on my novel. I have it started but that's all. I need to make a schedule and stick to it. It's just hard. After I get done doing the things I need to get done (ie work) I'm too tired tor write.

I really want to learn all the software on my computer..Photoshop, Indesign, Office 2007....I want to learn it all. But time is the issue.

I want to understand modern technology: Ipods, MP3, Twitter...all this technological "stuff." I think my 16 year old niece has me beat on all this.

I want to clean my house and keep it that way.

I want to eat better; find time to make good balanced meals and drink lots of water.

I want to exercise daily. Running from my office to the printer or fax machine isn't enough exercise. I have to keep telling myself this.

I'm getting tired just writing this. (Although it is almost Sunday) Good night.

Presenting Amanda....Live at the BK Lounge

Spot check

Obama, Political Correctness and all that

I don't believe this is a victory for African Americans! Sorry, I just don't. I think it's a victory for all Americans. I really don't think we need to bring race into this. So what if he's half black? Even if he was all black...it doesn't mean anything. I know that many African American people will think differently; like they finally arrived. But it's not the color of his skin that people voted for; it's the ideas he has, the thought process, the likeability, the relatibility...that's what did it.

You hear on the news different African American saying how proud they are "as an 'African American'" This makes it about race. If McCain had won, you would never hear a white person single out their pride because of being white. It would be wrong. We are trained to refrain from making those kinds of statements. Turn about is fair play. It's not a racial issue. That's my two cents.

Tummy tuck there, Lypo there

I used to be one of those ladies who insisted I would not have work done to my body even if I could afford it. I'd say this is how God made me, this is how I am meant to be. This was, of course, when I was younger. Only young people really mean it. Young, perky things with nice skin.

Now I find myself bantering at the dermatologists; asking how they need to submit the claim to the insurance company. "Isn't mole removal medically necessary?"

"Can't the doctor recommended moisturizers be charged based on income?"

Now as I approach my "late" 40's - Gawd how did this happen - I am singing a different tune. I'd just have a little face lift...that's all. Just would like to find my cheekbones, my real chin....nothing much.

My New Penpal

I have a pen pal. I real ink to paper snail mail pen pal. The fun thing is, we share the same name; first and last! It is so cool.

This Eva lives in New Hampshire. She's 90 years old...going on 91 in January. She was a hair dress for 50 years. She walks a mile or two each day. "The doctor says it's the best medication," she writes me. She's still not sure who to vote for next month.

I hope she looks forward to my letters as much as I look forward to hers.

Aw...someone's messin' with me...

The strangest thing happened. Aw...it is so freaky. Today I went to the car wash. I used my credit card in the machine. I put the receipt and the card on the passenger seat. I was kind of in a hurry because the car wash attendant was waving me on.

So I went through the car wash. When I got back to work, I started to look for my credit card. I found the sales slip but not the card. I looked all over the seat, on the floor, felt under the seat...no card. I got out of the car and went to the passenger side and carefully opened the door in case the card was going to fall out. No card. I did another search of the seat, the floor, under the seat, in the back seat...no card.

After work, I got in the car and did another search. No card.

When I got home I pulled into the garage and closed the door and did a complete search, taking everything out. The car is only 2 months old..there's not much in there. I pulled the seat forward and looked all over the floor in front and back. I pulled the seat back and searched some more. No card. It was making me nuts. I gave up and told Philip, my credit card is gone! Completely gone. Fell off the face of the earth. I was pissed.

I went into the house. Phil comes in behind me, "Here you go sweetheart," he says and hands me the card. I mean it! He says he just found it in the back seat floor. There is no way in God's green earth I could have not seen this! It was like magic! I still can't believe it.

Yep...some one's messin' with me. I just know it.

For a brief fleeting second...

I'm at lunch with a little time left before I need to clock back in. For this split second....as I wondered what I can do with myself for the next 10 minutes, I thought I would call my mom! How weird is that? She's been gone for 2.5 years and still...I thought of calling her. Oh, I guess that's normal...I don't know. You can see us here: Me and Mom

It's what they don't say...

It amazes me how people can communicate so much without saying a word. Or how just the way they say something can speak volumes as to how a person feels about you. Yes, it is a matter of interpetation...but often you'd have to be a totally oblivious moron to not know what someone is not saying. It's that whiney voice on the phone that is just two or three octavies louder than normal. It usually comes when you are the one on a fact finding mission; when you need to know how something works and the person you ask has the answers and knows he/she has the answers. Mostly what it is, is hard to explain.

I'll take "Unproductive" for $1000, Alex

Seriously! I have done nothing this weekend. Oh, I have thought about doing stuff. Thought about taking all the furniture out of the extra bedroom and preparing to paint the walls. Thought about cleaning out the garage. Thought about mopping the kitchen floor. Thought about sitting down and learning Photoshop or Indesign or even Word 2007. Thought about getting out that short story I've been working on and that novel I started in 2002. Yeah....what is it they say about paving with good intentions? If only. I have done some serious sleeping. Really. I'm sure I have been asleep more than I've been awake.

I know, I know...blah blah blah. Hey, it's my blog, I can bellyache about whatever I want. How's that for taking control?

Phil has a cold or allergies...he's not sure which but he's coughing up a lung every five minutes. So, can I blame my unproductivity on him? Well, maybe....a little.

I did watch some great football...Bills won!!! Yes. I did empty out the dishwasher and refill it. I did go pick up chinese food. And now, I did blog. So there.

Okay...I'm going to write something

I need to write....how about some ramblings going on inside my head?

Did you know every year I get published? It's true. Yep! I'm in the phonebook! Yes....in black and off-white.

Today I asked my co-worker Sheila, "If you had been borne a boy, would your parents had named you 'Heila?'" To which she responded, "Gawd, I hope not."

Is it acceptable to write emails to your boss that convey the point of the email while trying to make him/her laugh? If he/she doesn't respond to the hilarity of the email, should you stop?

When Christians tell you you need to be born-again, is it disrespectful to tell them you got it right the first time?

If you accidentally touch someone, say in a crowd, and you say to that person, "Oh sorry," to which he/she replies, "that's okay" is that an invitation for you to do it again?

Good Health

It is the most important thing. Each cookie I eat or soda I drink; each time I forfeit the salad for a cheeseburger I have to make myself think that this is wrong....I shouldn't be putting into my body that which I know is bad for me. Why do I do it? I know the risks...the risks of too much cholesterol; too much fat; too much sugar; too many chemicals like those in diet Coke...but I still eat or drink it.

I suppose it's like a smoker - you can't NOT know it's bad - you'd have to be living on the moon to know that it's not good for you, but you still do it. Fortunately I gave that habit up a few years ago.

I am getting a wake up call recently. My dad is really sick. Bladder cancer is very often caused by smoking..., no doubt, is the product of the 60 years of smoking he did. The bladder has to come out. Right now he's sitting in his living room watching TV on his new 37" HDTV. He says he feels pretty good considering. Considering he has a catheter attached to him that fills up with crimson urine. It's crimson because the tumors in his bladder are making him bleed. He was released from the hospital this way. Sounds a little hard to believe that they would release him but they can't do anything more for him there.

Tomorrow my brother takes him to Buffalo General. Hopefully they will see the merit of keeping him and the bladder will be removed. Waiting is not going to make this better. We just have to pray it will happen and that he will make it through the surgery.

Yesterday we got word that a friend of ours died on Thursday. His name is Greg Heim. He lives back home. He's been fighting cancer for a long time. He was barely 50 years old. I so hope he's at peace. It is way too sad for me to even want to fathom. Phil used to bowl with Greg. Greg would call Phil, "Firing Phil" because of how Phil would fire the ball down the lane and usually with great accuracy. Greg had the cutest smile. I didn't see him much after moving to OK but I will always remember him.

Phil's cousin's daughter is sick too. She had a brain tumor and the trials of removing it have taken a tole on her and her family. Her name is Beth Hayes. She lives in Western NY too. You can see her story at: http://friendsofbethhayes.com/. If you'd be so kind, please donate.

Life is so frail. I makes all the stupid petty quarrels and misunderstands...so impossibility stupid. Yeah...I'm waking up now. I have to!

OUR LABOR DAY WEEKEND

This year we decided to keep it simple. We are BBQing for the neighborhood. Oh, yes, it will be a bit crowded, but our friends just love to get together and hang out and talk and laugh and drink and eat. It's such fun. I just love the connection of all the people in our lives. We are truly blessed. Nothing like that connection.

Oh the simple part of it all..you wonder? It's all in my friggin' imagination!!!!!

I may not...

• be the best housekeeper
• be real smart
• know anything about child rearing
• be pretty
• be an over achiever

But....I can....

• write a fairly coherent sentence
• make people laugh
• get totally misunderstood despite my best intentions
• tell when I need to back off and let whoever think what he/she has decided to think because nothing I say is going to change them

I got me a new car...

Her name is "T'necca" which means "easy ride" in Mahonnese.

Happy Birthday Madonna...I mean Kathy Wheeler

On Hold with Medicare

When you call Medicare...Provider enrollment...the male voice will tell you that he appreciates your call but all enrollment specialists are busy and to please "hode for the next available specialist." And he says it every 20 seconds, "please hode"..."please hode"...and I want to scream into the phone, "it's HOLD!!!! not HODE...say your LLLLL's! Please!" Makes me nuts!

What movie star does my brother Ed remind you of?

Okay, maybe not. Maybe?

My family in New York

Me and Dad

Me and my brothers

The good aunt

Recently I have been reminded of a memory from my childhood. I must have been eleven or twelve. Gramma Kay, my mom's mom, was visiting from Florida. I rarely saw Gramma Kay but I was the granddaughter who wrote to her... a lot. Writing was my thing so that came easy to me. She sometimes marveled at my writing. I think that made this memory more vivid...I just didn't expect anything but warm acolades for my work.

I had tried something different. I took a beer bottle, one of those short brown glass bottles, and I painted it blue. After the paint had dried, I wasn't happy with the results so I smeared Elmer's Glue on it and took multi-colored blue yarn and laid rows and rows of it around the circumference of the bottle until I came to the top. I made a flower out of multi-colored tissues and I stuck the flower into the opening of the bottle. I then walked across the hall from my bedroom to Ed's room. Gramma Kay was staying in his room while she visited.

"Here, Gramma, I made something for you," I said smiling as I handed to her my creation.

It was a look of sheer displeasure on her face as she looked at it that is enbedded in my brain. This was not the reaction I had expected. Not at all.

"Well, thank you," she said as she took the bottle into her room.

There were no "this is lovely" or "for me? you shouldn't have." Nothing.

I don't think it surprised me to find the bottle in Ed's room after she left.

Now, I don't have grandchildren but I do have two nieces and a nephew. I am visiting them now. My one niece, Kate and her brother Jon, are going through a rather difficult time as their parents have split up.

I'm spending a lot of time at my dad's trying to get his house organized and in shape for when he gets out to the hospital. Last night Kate was suppose to return to his house to help me out. She did not. I told her I was mad and the tears started to flow. I was sad for having said this and upsetting her but I felt relieved to know I matter that much to her; that she still values my opinion. I know after Gramma Kay showed such disregard for my feelings, I didn't value her opinion much after that incident. I would hate for that to happen between me and Kate. I reassured her that I understand she is having a hard time and it was okay that she didn't feel like helping out. (My dad's house is such a mess, it is scaring. So I do understand.)

How many people share your name?

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 27 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Free Will

It's a strange concept...free will. Some think it refers to God. I suppose it does but it also doesn't have to. When you are born you have no free will. When you finally learn how to crawl, your mother stops you before you get too far. She puts childproof locks on all the lower cupboards so you can't get in them and taste the Ajax. She removes all of the chairs so you can't climb onto the cupboards and taste the Baileys.

If you want to play with a plastic bag, even though it clearly says on the bag, "this is not a toy," but you have a very attentive mom or dad, you can't play with the plastic bag. Sorry....your free will is limited.

As you grow you get more free will. Mom and dad think that by the time you're 12 you can cross the street without them (unless we're talking a major freeway, in which case you really shouldn't be crossing it because there's probably no need.) By the time you're 12, you also know that Ajax is poison and Baileys is only good at Christmas.

When you graduate from college and are out on your own, you have the most free will. You can stay out late, smoke cigarettes (if you're really stupid to start), swear, wear funky clothes and just do your own thing. You have to be law abiding, and hopefully courteous to your fellow man but you do have more free will.

When you start a job, though, you loose some free will because you might not be able to wear funky clothes to work unless you work in a funky clothes store or at an FM radio station. You can stay up late if you want but you will hate yourself for doing so the next day (or later on, in the event you don't have time to sleep before work starts). You can't sleep in late because your boss will only be understanding about those things so many times before he/she gives you back more of your free will.

When you get married, your free will is eliminated again because your spouse isn't going to be too happy with you seeing other people or staying away from home when there's laundry to fold and garbage to take out.

When you have kids your free will is almost totally removed from your life. No more coming home from work and watching Wheel of Forture while eating pizza from Dominos. No more just doing your thing unless you have parents who can take the kids for a little while while you and your spouse try to reconnect - which will generally turn into painting something in the house and child-proofing the cupboards where the Ajax is stored.

Maybe people don't realize that having kids means you put their happiness first....always! Not just sometimes..always. If you find out you're not happy...you need to redefine happiness within the new boundaries that you have established for yourself. We all make choices. If they're not the right ones, work with what you got. Of course, if you're being physically abused, by all means, get out - take the kids with you. But if it's just a matter of not connecting with your spouse, get over it.

It's way to much pressure to put on someone...to make them your everything. If he/she doesn't provide you with something you need...like talking about the political downfall of George Bush....and you really love talking about Bubba...find someone who likes to talk about him. It's okay. If you find you have little in common with your spouse, take what you have and exploit it. There's something in this person that you loved enough to marry. Hold onto it.

quotes that just stick with me

"Silence is golden but sometimes it's yellow!" I remember that quote from the original Password with Alan Ludden..when I was a kid. After every show Alan would say a quote he received in the mail from the "home audience." It's just kind of weird how some of the various lines I use today (yes, I didn't make them up) had come from my childhood TV watching.

"Spare me your poisonous barbs for your whims of humor fall on deaf ears." Guess who? Dr. Smith on "Lost in Space." Yeah...remember Promo the robot who kept saying "Warning warning!" and little Will?

"I could never be a nurse. I get whoosing looking at an open faced sandwich." Guess who? Norm on Cheers!

"I haven't been around but...I've been near by." Mary Richards on MTM Show.

"You're mildly unrepugnant." Diane referring to Sam on Cheers!

"He's as gay as a picnic basket." Sophia on The Golden Girls.

Oh, and I lifted this one off my sixth grade English assignment..."Do not compute the number of your barnyard fowls prior to their incubation."

I know...

Silence is power

I truly believe that moody people need to be shot. Seriously...there is no room in this world for people who want to be negative; who would rather ignore someone's cheerfulness for the sake of not feeding into their joy. Life is just too friggin short. Okay...if you miss your dose of lithum...fine...I'll spare you the firing squad. If you've been just told you are terminal ill...fine..spend the rest of your days in a negative funk.

But if this is your natural disposition...sorry...no use for you. Take aim...fire!

And don't blame being overworked or "have too much to do." Nah...that won't cut it either. Everyone who works for someone else is over worked. It's called "working" for a reason. You can only get done what you can get done. Unless you're spending too much time on "break" and you are truly doing your job, you're not going to get fired for being too personable and friendly...for saying "good morning," "how's it going?" "you're looking very nice today." If you do get fired for any of these thing, you don't need to work there. You don't need that kind of negativity around you.

That's just all there is to it.

Liberty Fest: Taste of Edmond

We just got back from the Taste of Edmond. This is a huge part of Edmond's Liberty Fest (which was rated as CNN top 10 places to be over the July 4th Weekend). And it's great...they have many vendors donating the food that is a favorite at their respective restaurant...they have many people helping out...and they have a great venue. It's all great...in theory!

The problem is so many people partake. Normally this is a good thing but here, it's wall to wall people and there's all these lines to wait in but the lines are schewd, overlapping each other and you don't know what vendor you're in line for until you get closer.

By my fourth line, I had had it. It wasn't fun anymore. It was endless waiting, juggling the item you rec'd in the last line you waited in for 15 minutes along with your drink, dodging strollers and people who don't believe they are supposed to say, "excuse me" before crossing in front of you so they could get to another line.

I hate to be a killjoy but....I probably will not be going next year.

If it were up to me, I think it should be set up like this. Seat the people and have the vendor's hire highschool kids to bring their fare to each table. I'm all for this. Instead of having 3000 people running around; have 300. This makes more sense to me..but it's not up to me...so I'll get off my high horse and go watch Password.

Just call us Gramma and Grampa

I finally got around to visiting the new neighbors. They moved in across the street about 3 weeks ago. I've been meaning to go over to welcome them to the neighborhood. They appear to be a very nice young couple with a 5 year old daughter. I would guess they are in their mid-20's.

We had a pleasant conversation about the usual...what we did for a living, how long we've been in Edmond..blah blah blah...but I swear things came to a screeching halt when he said, "I think you and your husband are probably the oldest couple on the street."

"Oh righty then!"

I didn't stay long after that and as I left I did have this overwhelming urge to say, "Well, I gotta go...I think the Ex-lax is kicking in and it's almost time for my Geritol."

Or I should have asked if he had any tennis balls for the feet of my walker.

I told Phil that next time he sees him to say, "Hey how ya doing there son?"

It's kind of strange to be thought of as "old." I'm not sure I've earned it.

I just don't care....

Right now, I just don't care if Obama is the son of Osama. I don't care if polar bears are in danger because Bush has signed some bill or something giving oil companies permission to find oil in the Chukchi Sea. I don't care who becomes president in November. I don't care about Kobi Bryant or the housing bubble or same-sex unions going on in CA.

Right now, all I care about is my dad; about the tumors returning to his bladder. If they are and they have to remove them the surgery will probably push back his surgery to repair an embolism in his aorta which will push back the surgery to remove the bladder. He's had enough road blocks! That's what he calls them. If you read this, please pray he will be better. That's all I care about right now.

(Notice the remote in his hand. Such a natural pose!)

Oh this makes sense..

I don't watch The Bacholette but I see the many many promos. It looks like they are trying something new.

They're bringing in the authority in men who wear boxes...yes, Ellen DeGeneres! They decided the show apparently needed someone who knows men! Yep, that'll be Ellen!

My idea of a vacation

Oh man...I loved today. I loved not going to work. I loved doing stuff around the house but more importantly...I loved the opportunity to nap. I know, most people like to do stuff, go boating, camping, cook on the grill but my idea of the perfect day off...is a good nap right smack in the middle of the day. Why? You may ask. Because I can!!!!! This works for me.

If you make your bed...

If you make a choice to do something and it ends up causing you grief, can you complain about it? Isn't the grief self-inflicted?

If you decide you don't love your spouse like a person is suppose to love a spouse and you tell your spouse this and you make plans to be with another and for whatever reason it makes you sad or upset or whatever, should people around you feel bad for you? Isn't this one of those times where you're making your bed and you need to lay in it?

Am I wrong for not feeling sorry for this person?

May 19th

I've been working on my present job for not quite a year. When I first was hired, there was one lady, Pam, in the company who worked at a different building who emailed me. Her primary reason to email me was to welcome me to the company. I was new and I didn't know the culture of the workplace so I freely emailed with her over the next few weeks. We seemed to be on the same line of thinking...believing that each day was a gift and that we needed to cherish each of them even if it was not Friday. I just felt some sort of connection with this woman.

When I met her for the first time it was like we just knew each other. It's so hard to explain but there was not much of a beat we were missing. She just struck me as "my kind of person."

In August we moved into a new building together. I found Pam's office on a couple of occasions as some kind of refuse. I was having a hard time with others who were not privy to my line of thinking. Pam offered me support. She let me vent and sometimes she laid it out for me in no uncertain terms. We shared the honesty that can be hard to find in the business world.

In the last few months, Pam's mom became ill. I would check on her, asking Pam how she was doing. I prayed at night that her mom would be okay or if God had plans that Pam would find the strength to let it happen.

I found out today, May 19th, 2008 that Pam's mom passed on. I find it no accident that Pam lost her mom exactly two years to the day, that I lost my momma. And I firmly believe that Pam and I are not the only ones who share a connection.

On that show Lost

I don't watch "Lost" but I see the 86 million promos ABC airs during the three or four shows I watch during the week and all I can say is:

Will someone please save these people!!!!!

The promos are making me nuts. Aw..I just can't believe how much grief these people have had. Wasn't falling from the sky enough drama? Like I said, I don't watch the show but I know they have had problems with getting along with one another, being so-called rescued by what turns out to be unfriendly people and for the most part, escaping death at every turn. Please ABC...save them!!! Have a show with them dealing with post partum or whatever that syndrome is that I can't remember the name of where you have flashbacks etc. You know. Just lose "Lost"....for me.

And so it goes..

Only one more test and one more memo to write and I am a graduated college professional! Wow! 29 years in the making.

I am not going to the ceremony on Saturday or having a party. Maybe Phil and I will go out and do something fun ..like give blood. We tried to give today. Phil was successful. I had had an steriod epidural 10 days ago. You need to wait 14 before donating though. Just an FYI.

Something will come up...something fun...also our 21st anniversary is this month too. Please send money.

Choices

We all make choice. Each day you make a hundred.

• Should I make the right on red or wait until the light turns green?
• Should I bring my lunch to work or go out?
• Should I take an umbrella?
• Should I wear heels?
• Should I go on the turnpike?

See there's five and I haven't even got to work.

Of course there are bigger ones to make - go to college, get married, get involved with someone, have an affair, or not; end an affair.

My problem is when those who need to make a choice, don't...they sit on it and you can't do anything. And your life hangs in the balance. Decide already...okay.

Update on my dad

It appears that the cancer is contained only in the bladder. We hadn't gotten the official word from someone, say a doctor...but the nurses at Roswell Cancer Institute say the scan "looked good." They release my dad on Saturday...sent him packing with a prescription and his very own cathader to collect all his pinkish pee. Yikes....now there's TMI. The hope now is he can get in soon to have the aneurism fixed, recover from that and then take the bladder.

He's doing okay but a bit, understandably, apprehensive.

Still listening

The Book of Joe on CD is my first book that I'm having read to me. I'm really liking this concept. I just started the third disk with Chapter 11. I probably could read faster but I'm listening while driving so, since laws and the distraction of driving hinders reading, I'm multi-tasking. I am sure I will do this again with another book. Maybe Eddie's Bastard....I loved that book.

At lunch I was going to go the mall but decided to just drive to Taco Bueno for a Bob. I took the long way just so I could listen more.

I love his descriptions but I am not sure the average person takes in all that he's describing unless they are going to write about it. Lunch is almost over....gotta go.

I'm my Parent's Daughter

My dad is very sick. He has bladder cancer and he lies in a bed at a cancer center in Buffalo. He had a tumor removed in the fall and now, he just had another taken out today. It's bad. He's not really healthy enough to have the bladder removed, which would be the best thing. They are running scans right now to see if the cancer has spread. I'm home, here in OK, prayer with all my might that it hasn't.

I want to get on a plane to go see him. I know there are a lot of people who would just go....just book a flight regardless of the cost and go. I am my mother's daughter and my father's daughter...there is no doubt about it. I'm on the net comparing prices and trying to decide when to leave. If I leave tomorrow its almost $900. If I leave on Sunday, it's under $300. I just don't know what to do. I'm waiting for my brother to call with more info. I just don't know what to do.

I'm in that kind of mood

I'm listening, in the car for the past four trips somewhere, to a book on CD. It's The Book of Joe by Jonathan Trooper. I've read the book...actually read it...a couple years ago. It's been long enough that I really don't know what is going to happen as I listen. I have a vague recollection of there being a Mrs Robinson kind of thing going and I think someone dies. I'm not sure.

Anyway, it's got me in this frame of mind where as I write this I can hear the narrator speaking my words in my head just like he reads Troopers. It's weird. I really hear him. Trooper writes well and I find myself saying...I can do this....I can rely my life in the same manner; I can put words together in a crafty way where they sound plausible, funny with a bit of familiarity. I can have snappy answers in my dialog of my story too.

For example, yesterday, I saw someone taking a rather large piece of birthday cake out of the kitchen. I had to make a conscience effort to not say what was running though my head....I bit my lip. It was good but the urge to say, "that's a mighty big piece of cake for someone on a diet" hung in the air as he waddled out of the room. I could almost feel him wish to not have me there to witness this transaction; a sort of hesitation with doing it with a desire to say, "f-you, I'm hungry for something sweet. F the diet too" and continuing with the confection get away.
There...that is very Trooperish.

I'm working on a short story, hopefully for True Story magazine. This story does not have the same tone as The Book of Joe. It's really pretty bad in that it's not deep with detail and the flow of the story is a bit choppy. You don't have to describe every single thing...just give the essence and move on.

We'll see.

I didn't think it could happen....

...but apparently it did. I have recieved some information today that clearly states I, yes me...yes little ol me, have cornered the market on words! It's true. All the words that are spoken or written in a blog belong to me! No one else is allowed to use them because they are MINE! I find this a little hard to believe because I know in my heart of hearts, I really don't matter.

I know that may be hard to hear but it's true. I am not a bleep on anyone's radar screen...well except for my husband and my family. If I am to speak of you; or describe an occurance that you were party to...you as the reader have absolutely no recourse. You can't comment on what I have said because to do so would mean you are using words and we all know, now, that those words belong to ME!

I suppose this is why YOU don't comment. Apparently that memo went around but no one cc'ed me until now. Now I get it.

Should I take this time to say, I reliquish my hold on all words? As of now, you can comment and I promise, I will not delete your comment unless you are spamming me. It's okay...I give up my corner of the market. You can also set up your own blog and tell stories of what happened with whomever...even me. I'll let you. There you have permission. Use the words and use them wisely. Even though they are not limited and there are more words out there if you just look. They are everywhere! I swear!

On feeling Productive

There's nothing like it; working on your work and seeing the fruits of your labor blossom into a bountiful harvest. Okay, that's a tad dramatic I honestly feel like I'm contributing....like what I'm doing matters. I don't know why.

I actually didn't want to leave. I had so much I wanted to get done and every now and then an email or a phone call would take me away from my objective and steer me in a different direction for a short time. Then I'd make my way back to what I wanted to do. I actually clocked out before I was done, but kept on working.

I really like it when work is fun.

Edna, Andrea and Me

Here is Edna and her daughter Andrea.

Edna is such a great gal. I'm blessed to have gotten to know her.

And me and Andrea. That picture was taking while holding the camera in front of us and just hoping for the best. Andrea is such a cutie.

I'm free....

Such a bell rings through me! I feel so free. You see, I had this presentation to do with three other students in our class. We choose Music Labels and Music Artists. On top of the Power Point presentation, we had to write a 16 page report on the subject. It's all I've been focusing on for the last three weeks. (Well, the occasional look into the meaning of life did get in the way.) But it's all done!!!!! I could dance a jig! I just might.

Now I can clean my house, write that short story and figure out a way to keep track of all the things I do at work! I'm so psyched!

Questions in Life

There's a show on ABC called Men in Trees. It's about a relationship-advice guru writer named Marin Frist, who moves to Alaska after finding out her fiance was cheating on her. She has a radio talk show where she ponders different questions.

My last post was taken in the same vane. But here is another...

When do you call a person you know "a friend?" How much do you need to know before you are "friends?" The show touched on this a little last week when the one character, Cash, needed a kidney. A man, Terri, stepped up for him and he felt because of this donation they were now instant friends. Cash apparently, at first didn't see it this way. Of course, to make the story flow nicely he came around. But there was one interesting quote Terri said, "Friends are aware of another's feeling." Yes, this is TV but life does imitate art. And visa versa.

I know the waitress at Texas Roadhouse last night is not my friend even though we exchanged pleasantries and revealed little pieces of ourselves. I do think the moment you ask someone a fairly personal question (and no, not how do I like my steak cooked) and you receive a fairly detailed answer you are friends.

I'll have more Marin Frist type questions as time goes on. Stay tuned.

Starting Over

How many times do YOU reinvent yourself? It seems I am doing this every four or five months. Something happens that is not a positive occurance which I think I need to rise above. I put on my "big girl panties" and deal. Or at least I try. I'm not always successful.

I think the best you can do is look at all what is good in your world. Some say if you're breathing that is all that matters. Do you ever look at your life and wonder if anyone would want it? Who would want your life? This can get kind of depressing when the best you can come up with is a homeless person with a life altering disease. Yes, it can always get worse.

I have issues I need to address. I used to think blogging about them would help and I still believe this but it might not be in the best interest of those in my life....of those who can not understand or begin to understand.

Depression is a tricky thing. Putting on your big girl panties just doesn't work. The woman's magazines will list helpful answers to what to do when you're feeling a little blue. Things like buy an new address book and rewrite the addresses leaving out the people who have disappointed you. Or rent a funny movie. Or make voodoo dolls and stick pins in them. Sorry....this is fine if you boyfriend just broke up with you and a pint of Hagan Daas isn't working. But true depression doesn't work that way.

I do thank my lucky stars that I have this amazing husband who is constantly reminding me how much he loves me. I have a wonderful job that pays me a decent salary (not that I would turn down more). Although my family is not here, I know they are there for me if I needed them. Aside from some back pain, I'm healthy enough to do what I need to do to make a living, go to school and travel when I need to. I have a working car that I need new tires for. I have this great little dog. And I have a God who watches over me and those I care about. Life is good.

I have readers!

A little birdy tells me that I do indeed have an audience!

I'm so excited about this. All this time I thought no one even knew I existed. I was thinking I need to spice this blog up a bit....you know like the local news stations do. During sweeps week, they have more explicit topics to discuss...like "porn in the pews" and "Strippers doing charity work" and "Interviews with Hooter Girls." Guess this won't be necessary. I say, Welcome to my Blog! I hope you enjoy it.

Life is good!

Pictures from my trip

Pictures from our trip home Katie and her friend Ollia

Me and Jon (I like my head chopped off) Amanda the Easter Bunny Sally and Angel

Our Vacation

I'm so bad about not writing about what we did on our trip to Buffalo. Fortunately, my dad is doing pretty good despite having bladder cancer. He had his corartic artery cleared out a couple weeks ago and he seems to be doing fine. Next he gets a defubulator. After that, they operate on an embolism on his arorta and then finally, the bladder is dealt with. So far, he's being a trooper.

We got in very late on Tuesday, March 18th. Our flight was fine....a little longer because of fog but all in all not bad. Jim picked me up from the airport and Phil's brother Jim picked him up.

On Wednesday I used Jim's car and drove out to Getzville to see his family. I had lunch there. I got back to Angola around 4:30pm. We had tacos

On Thursday, I hung out with my dad for a bit; put some of his things on Craigslist; picked up my brothers' van from the dealer with dad's help. We had Chinese. Jim, Jon and I went to church. Katie played her Oboe and Deb was in the choir.

On Friday, Phil came to Angola. We all went out to Outback for dinner. Ed and Marlene and Amanda were there too. After that we came home to watch the Sabres lose.

On Saturday we all went to the mall and to see Horton Hears a Who. It was cute. We had dinner at the Warehouse.

Sunday, we went to church. Afterward we had lunch, went to see my dad for a bit and went to Getzville. Phil drove his mom's car and I drove Jim's. I came home afterward but Phil stayed.

Today, Jim, Kate, Jon and I went to Walmart. Then we went to the mall for lunch and some other stores. Now I'm back.

Tomorrow is our flight out. It's a late flight so I wouldn't be surprised if we got held up in Atlanta for the night. We will see.

It's good to get a way but I miss Becca Boo. Reality will be setting in on Wednesday morning when I'm back to work.

One thing about me

One thing about me, I have learned this past week: I'm easily manipulated because I'm overly compassionate. One wouldn't think being compassionate would be a bad thing.....but when it is manipulated out of me....it is. But life goes on.

This, that and the other thing

I don't know what to write about as there are several topics running though my brain.

Okay....the NY governor: I wonder whose money it was that he used to pay for the prostitute? $4000 for a night? No one is that good. If this is what she charges, she's obviously getting it so blame the other "johns" too. I'm on the fence as to whether or not he should have had to step down. Yes, he did illegal activity but he's not part of the judiciary...he's with the executive department. Personally I think they should legalize prosttution and tax the hell out of it.

This brings me to the topic of the high cost of everything. The problem here is there are too many rich people who are willing to plunk down $40K for a car. If rich people stopped buying high end cars, the auto manufactures would have to drop the cost...say to $25K. Same for designer shoes and hand bags...please $4k for a tote....get real.

I wish the Democratic ticket was picked today. I'm really sick of it.

I have more to say but the PM pain reliever is kicking in. Good night.

There ought to be a law

It's just plain wrong to have a headache on a Sunday. Isn't it blasphemous or something? Gawd, my head hurts so bad since I got up at 7:30 (the new time). This is just wrong. If this was a work day, I'd be calling in sick...it hurts that much. I say this because I don't have any sick time accumulated and my boss pretty much said the company disses time off w/o pay. But right now, I'd be of no use to them. (okay...think what you will, I can blog for three minutes...just can't work for 8 hours)

I'm going back to bed.

People Who Annoy Me

Dolly Parton - She thinks everything she that comes out of her mouth needs to be needlepointed onto a pillow.

Sheryl Crow - She's so bubblegum rock to me. "Girls just want to have fun." Yeah, that's deep.

Oprah - Of course you can give back when you're a zillionaire!

Barbra Streisand - Oh, get over yourself.

Celine Dion - $150 to see her in concert? Yeah, that'll happen. (When I'm Oprah)

Okay, I know they have all spoken so highly of me.

HAPPY MARCH!

March came in like a lamb. It was 70 something in OK. It will be snowing on Monday morning.

I'm so addicted to PopDrop

You can play it here: http://hs.myway.com/games/popdrop.html

I I I I

Hilary says "I this and I that." Obama says "I this and I that." I'll take "self-centered" for a 1000, Alex!

. . .Comet in the Sky: Theodre Rossevelt on Immigration

This is a very interesting quote by Teddy Roosevelt that appearly people forgot. I sure did.

. . .Comet in the Sky: Theodre Rossevelt on Immigration

A letter to Jess

Dear Jess….
My name is Eva (evawebdiva). I was the anonymous commenter on your blog. I don’t know why I chose to be anonymous that day since I’ve answered as me on your blog before. I guess I thought I was sticking my nose into your infertility business.

I found your blog doing a search on Edmond, OK. I live here too. Technically I could be your mom though…that’s the difference in our ages. Unfortunately, I am no one’s mom…. except for our dog – but as you know that’s not quite the same.

I didn’t read the entire Redbook article. I’m sure it talked about a lot of the stuff you already know but you never really know…there could be something of merit that changes your life. And I could have been the one who directed it to you! Stranger things have happened.

My situation is different but the bottom line is, no kids. At forty-eight, that ship has sailed. Unfortunately.

In my early thirties I was pregnant for a couple months but that was all.
The doctors said it was for the best because I was at a high risk. They say a normal healthy woman’s mortality rate is 1 in 10,000; mine was 1 in 20. Now I know, there are woman out there, and this may very well include you, who would take the chance. After a lot of hymning and hawing and asking God for guidance, I decided, I loved my life too much to do so. After a couple more years with birth control, and then problem of heavy-duty fibroids, I went the hysteromy way.

I have a lot of guilt because I didn't trust in God enough. And this might make you mad but in a way, I envy you for having this - this determination of whether or not you become a mother not be YOUR decision. It's really hard when it's YOUR decision (albeit based on medical information) because it was all riding on what I wanted to do. My husband made it my decision. The doctors made it my decision. At the time, I just let time go by and tried to ignore it and then it was what it was...my decision to not put myself in harms way. Alive but childless.

Years have gone by and I have misgivings. I'm never at peace with my decision.

So that is how we are the same and how we are different. Thanks for letting me share. Under the "not so interesting but true" category, if you google images "evawebdiva" it pulls YOU up. Oh, and I think it's great that your friends got your back. Aside from the lite lynching....they all seem like very nice people :). Good luck to you. If you have questions, please ask..or thoughts. :)

I want my mommy!

I am sick. My nose is running and I'm coughing and I feel achy all over. I wish my mom was here.

Okay, I know, I know....I should put on my big girl panties and deal with it. After all, it's not like I have cancer or something equally awful. Is it wrong of me to feel sorry for myself even though I know, full well, it could be so much worst? I will recover so I need to quit my belly aching and get on with it.

But still...All I want to do is put my head down and take a nap. I know I shouldn't be at work right now but I have no time left that isn't earmarked for my trip back home in March. As I said before, the system of grouping sick time in with vacation time is just wrong. Everyone who can manage to keep their head up comes to work coughing their brains out because why take off when you're sick? You need to take off when your healthy and can have some fun.

Fun for me right now would be a hot totty (whatever that is), my blankee and spot on the sofa watching reruns of the Golden Girls.

Business Communication

I'm taking my last and final class. It is in Business Communication. Right now we are writing "Bad News" letters. The point of writing them is to first offer a buffer to cushion the blow, then give some reasons for the bad news, then the bad news , then some kind of alternative and positive good will ending.

Okay. We had an example where the management of our company wanted to cancel dress-down Fridays because production was down, people were goofing off, customers were complaining and absentism was up.

Now I can not find a buffer. I racked my brain to find one and it just wasn't happening. After we were given 15 minutes to work on this, the teacher asked for someone to read his/her example. One kid wrote a nice memo and the teacher loved his buffer....where management was praising the workers for making the company just a good company and to me this is such bullshit. If I were to read this memo from my mamagement, and it was filled with self serving rambling about what a great company we were and happy they were to have us, only to turn around and blast me because some people on staff were goofing off, I'd feel cheated. I'd be saying, "Oh, cut the bullshit, will ya."

I don't agree with business writing....that you have to treat your audience like they're morans or with kid gloves. I've said this before, those of us in an office environment who treat the bosses like the sun rises for them only are doing themselves a disservice. They are enabling bad behavior. To me that's just wrong.

But life goes on.

Aw...my girl is just too cute

I gotta post this picture. She's my cute little girl.

Time to play.....

Do people caulk their ceiling?

Do you caulk the wall/ceiling area of your bathroom in the shower area? I think I need to do this. Hum?

My mind is blank

And so is this blog.

Cement in my Spine

My doctor tells me today I will need to have a procedure done on my compressed fracture of my L3 where they inject cement into it. It's called:
vertebroplasty. It sounds awful but I've been reading that there is a good chance of positive relief.

On Love and Death

Everything that could be written on love and death has already been said. There are no original ideas left...just the reiteration with maybe a new background.

Basically, if you've experience the death of a loved one...well, it just sucks. It's been almost two years since I lost my momma (gee, was it at the Mall of America? How funny we say "lost" when we mean "ripped from our lives.") I still can't wrap my mind around the idea that I will never see her again...until....death do us reunit.

I talk to her a lot and I believe that she talks back to me in sudtle ways without words. Sometimes I see her in my dreams. Sometimes it's just a presence in the room and I talk to it thinking it is my husband only to find out he's in the back bedroom.

She died in May 06 and the following September a petunia grew under the hedges in the front window. I didn't plant it there, it just grew on its own. I swear it is my mom.

When there was no hope I'd get on an overbooked plane in Atlanta this past August; after being told the plane was overbooked with seven people ahead of me on standby, my name was called to board, I knew it was divine intervention...Mom got me on that plane.

When a person you're at odds with loses a parent, especially a mom, all feelings of comtempt are gone. They are with me. I know how much this sucks and no matter how much I hurt over whatever it was that made me at odds with that person....it's gone. Vanished. Almost as quickly as the anger I had at my mom for not being the perfect Mom much of my life. After losing her...it just faded away.

Saturday Night

It's almost 8pm...I'm ready for bed. Aw...I'm getting so old.

Oh crap!

I missed a day. Aw....crap. I'm not a 365 day blogger. Aw....I just forgot! Dang.

No wonder my foot hurts

When I dropped the can of soup on my foot, I had no idea why it hurt so bad. The I looked at the can.

It was fully loaded!

Nothing is coming to me

It can always be worse

When I complain about stupid things, like the way some people make me feel inferior (Okay I ALLOW them to make me feel inferior, whatever) I know it's not the worse thing in the world. Yes, it's insignifant to a lot of people. Yes it could be worse, but right now it's pissing me off and I need to vent. I suppose I need to choose my sounding board a little more carefully...it's silly on my part to spill my woes to someone who finds it a challenge to get out of bed.

So I have learned by lesson and I'm finally letting it go. So let's move on.

Weather Woes

If there is one thing that makes me nuts living in Oklahoma, it is the temperature variations For example this morning it was 13 degrees! Yes! Thirteen! Of course you bundle up. This afternoon it was 58! YEAH A 45 DEGREE DIFFERENCE!

In Western NY if it starts out at 13, you're lucky to see the 30's during the afternoon. And this makes sense to me.

But now, fortunately I have learned to expect the big swings. I heavy coated it on the drive to work but wore a hoodie under it and carried the coat on the way home. It just seems like a freak of mother nature to have this big difference...like a meteorological bipolar disorder.

Dear Ford Motor Company...

I'm sorry to bring this to your attention but there is a serious defect with the locking mechanism on your 2003 Ford Focus. Today during a snow storm I got in the car, started it up and then left the vehicle to scrap the windows. I did NOT push the button to lock the doors or press the lock feature on the keyless entry, however after scraping the windows around the entire car, freezing my ass of in the process I discovered much to my displeasure the doors had locked. I'm not making this up! They locked on their own!

This has happened once before; again when it was crappy outside and I had to resort to calling my husband to come get me, driving home to get the spare set of keys and then returning to the running car. Yes, it was quite toasty warm inside but that does not excuse you from the embarrassment I had to face when my co-workers said, "Oh, you locked your keys in the car!"

I can say until I'm blue in the face, "IT WAS THE CAR!" But everyone shakes their head as if to say, "NO, YOU NUMBSKULL, IT WAS YOU!" Like a car does not have mechanical troubles from time to time.

You owe my Mr. Ford Motor Company! You owe me big! I'm talking free OnStar Service for life! Mr. "Quality means doing your best when no one is looking"...you anti-Semitic....tweeb!

Sincerely yours,

Eva

This is really cool

Who said juggling three balls was hard? Doesn't look so hard here.
http://johnbrooks.com/juggle/ (turn your speakers on)

Quote of the day

I can endure anything when I have no choice in the matter.

Time off

Recently many companies are going to the Bank of Days or Paid Time Off for their employees. This is where they get x number of hours for each month worked and the time off includes vacation, sickness, bereavment, personal time. It's a great idea in theory but what ends up happening is you get more sick people at work. Why use a sick day when you can come to work, get through the day and save the time off for when you feel better and are on vacation? So more people come to work sick and spread the germs so more sick people can come to work.

Sick time should be separated. That's what I think.
But life goes on.

Some good grammar learning sites

I need to improve my grammar. Maybe you do too? Here are some good sites:
http://www.dailygrammar.com/ Here you can sign up for a lesson a day and a test on Saturday.

The elements of Style http://www.bartleby.com/141/index.html

Grammar Bites http://www.chompchomp.com/ You can actually test yourself.

There's a name for it

Remember when I posted a pic of "Jughead," the man hiding in the mosiac features of the tile in my company restroom? Well, there's a name for it: "pareidolia." I learned this from the news lately of scientists wondering about an image of a woman on Mars. Of course it turned out to be a rock but it does look like a woman sitting. I'm just thrilled to know there is a name for it and I'm not a little loony.

The Friendship Application

Sometimes you have to wonder when meeting someone new if it's worth the time and effort to try to become friends. You don't know if it's going to work out, you just can't be sure. I've created the "Friendship Application." Just print this out and give it to a potential friend for completion. It will save you a lot of time.

Diversity

Diversity in the workplace is commonly found in ethnicity, race, religion, life experiences, disabilities or backgrounds. I think they need to include grumpy people, happy people, moody people, emotional people, smart people and dumb people. All of these qualities can contribute to the workplace. You just have to be a little more creative.

On Boston Legal, there is a character who suffers from some rare syndrome where he walks with his palms firmly against his legs, he often purrs, and sometimes jumps. When he's doing any of these things, why isn't he called to the carpet for unprofessional behavior? Why? Because he can't help it. Same with people who cry, who suffer from depression that is aggravated by being talked down to.

But life goes on.

My quote for today...

It's amazing how much you can accomplish when there's no fear of persecution.

This is so cool

The Kitten and the Crow - (click on View) This is such an amazing story.

I wasn't wrong

Forgot yesterdays post, I wasn't wrong. I didn't do what I thought I did. I'm not a baffoon!

Oh man I goofed

I woke up at 6 this morning with the realization that I had made an error at work on Friday. It all came clear to me in the quiet morning hours, where the room was just starting to see the first light of day and my eyes flashed open. Crap.

One person was leaving and another had moved. I had gotten info that the subordinate of the moving one was going with the departing one. I emailed the moving one's contact and made reference to moving one leaving...but I knew he wasn't...he had just moved. Crap.

I wish there was a good excuse for my mixing them up....I'm so closely being watched. My mom had told a story about how her sister was carrying an egg (I think..something) on plate and her father kept saying, "You're going to drop it, you're going to drop it" and sure enough, she dropped it. I'm being so closely watched that maybe I was just destine to error. Crap. The good news is, the email is as far as the error went. It's not like I removed the moving guy from our records.

Guess, I'll hear about it on Monday. Oh, joy, can't wait.
But life goes on.

How's this for Broadway

Check out Hillary here....

My brother's turning 50

Wow, how can it be? My big bro is going to be 50 years old. He's a father of teenagers! Amazing.

Not the Sharpest tool in the Shed

I know I'm not super intelligent, but I think I'm slightly above average. Lately, my abilities have been tested and I feel this blanket of self doubt coming over me and it scares me. I so afraid my spirit will be squished. It's just sad.

But life goes on.

This is what I do...

Often, I have discovered that people who have some control over me must think I just willy nilly do something without thought. Sometimes they just jump to these conclusion without consulting me. I really dislike this. I understand it's bothersome to come and ask me, "why did you do this this way? Why didn't you go in this direction?" If they did, they would understand better where I'm coming from. I won't say I never just throw caution to the wind, but for the most part I think about and do what I feel is best. I do this based on I want I have learned in the past.

But life goes on.

Passion

There is more than one kind of passion. Of course, the obvious is that sensual one. There's also that passion when you are so excited about something that your voice gets louder, and you talk faster. This, I have determined, is sometimes thought of as arguing. But it's not. I get very passionate about things I know a lot about. This doesn't happen very often but sometimes it does.

I have a student, an 82 year old man named John who I see every three weeks or so to teach him about the Internet and his computer. Sometimes he misses what I'm trying to say and then I get passionate about it and I see his reaction and I know, he thinks I'm yelling at him. I can honestly say, I am not. I am just excited about what ever it is I'm trying to teach him. I usually apologize. He knows now, it's not him. I'm not getting angry with him...it's just me being passionate.

At work, I have little passion because I know so little. I know this. I try to do what is best; what I think is proactive and sometimes it appears that I'm overstepping my duties. But if I know something that I think will be helpful, I will try to do it...my passion finally finding a place.. only to be deflated by those who say "it's not your place" in so many words.

Oh well, life goes on.

Where I'd like to live

I think I'd like to live in an apartment with Uncle Bill, Mr. French and Mrs. Beezly. This would be the most ideal place for me.

The Writer's Strike

I'm happy for the strike. This gives me more time to blog and learn. Okay, let's see if that happens. Plus, we have a lot on DVD/video to watch anyway. So, it's a good thing.

What to do?

So much to learn. I have a ton of online classes. Each day at work, I think, "Tonight I'm going to learn more about Indesign or Access." I have great plans to do so. Even on the way home, I think I will..after dinner, after I stretch...then after I watch my soap, then after I get my clothes ready for work the next day and after my shower. And then...it's 10pm and I'm ready to hit the sack. I read for 30 minutes, the Tylenol PM kick in...and it's la de la de land for me.

Weekends are different....well sort of. (Yawn)

I couldn't believe it

I was at the mall today for lunch. I ate in the food court. Next to me was a woman with a child..a boy of about 3 years old. He was pushed up to the table in a booster seat. I saw the woman come up behind him and say into his ear,"Now, I'll be right back. Just stay here."

I watched as she left the food court. She took the esculator up. I was done eating and I needed to get back to work, but I couldn't leave this little boy there until I knew the woman had returned. I lingered a bit and it seemed like a long time had past. The boy just sat at the table eating his lunch, undisturbed by the fact that his mother (I assume) had left him. Maybe he was used to it. Maybe he just trusted her. I watched as the woman returned to him.

I was standing at this time and I'm sure she saw me waiting. I said when she was in ear shot, "I was watching him."

She thanked me but she seemed annoyed.

She was probably gone for a minute and a half....not long, but that boy could have been taken in a heartbeat. I was just amazed that someone could do that.

Crying at work

Here's an interesting article Crying at Work, What NOT to Do.

Kristie Theobald writes:

Work should be a healthy, well-balanced and positive place ... after all, we're there for a great deal of our lives. So if your workplace is anything but those three things, my advice to you would be to get the hell out of there and find something that is as close to your joy as possible"

I say AMEN. Just wish it was that simple.

I can sure relate to trying to turn the other cheek:

But there is a colleague of mine who can turn really narky when it suits her and I am somehow the first in line for her to throw her crap at. Might be because I'm easygoing and I don't fight back very often. But unfortunately I can also be quite sensitive at times and being bawled out by someone doesn't sit
with me very well. I am only just starting to develop a toughness!

Personally, to tell me to NOT cry; it's like telling me to not bleed after you cut me. It's not going to happen. My advice, if you're a manager, don't make your workers feel like idiots. Problem solved!

Internet is down

Okay MY internet is down. I 'm tired to blog. Tomorrow I will. Good night

Yay..I'm a student again

It just might actually happen! I just might be graduating with my BA in May! Yes, I can't believe it. I've been working with the assistant department head on getting me the heck out of Dodge..in this case UCO. They have to be sick of me by now. I'm this "untraditional" student which means I could have given birth to the all the kids in my class. Okay, not all of them; that would be a blog in itself. I've been working on my BA on and off for some time now...it's the 30 year plan. It will indeed be just months shy of 30 years too. I'm so psyched. I have one more class that starts on Monday night. I will be so happy to get this done. Stay tuned.

I don't feel like blogging

I just don't feel like blogging tonight. This is all you get.

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.

I didn't write this but I liked it:

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will. I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set . They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free.

I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.

And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)

MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EV ER!

FRIENDS FOREVER!