Free Will

It's a strange concept...free will. Some think it refers to God. I suppose it does but it also doesn't have to. When you are born you have no free will. When you finally learn how to crawl, your mother stops you before you get too far. She puts childproof locks on all the lower cupboards so you can't get in them and taste the Ajax. She removes all of the chairs so you can't climb onto the cupboards and taste the Baileys.

If you want to play with a plastic bag, even though it clearly says on the bag, "this is not a toy," but you have a very attentive mom or dad, you can't play with the plastic bag. Sorry....your free will is limited.

As you grow you get more free will. Mom and dad think that by the time you're 12 you can cross the street without them (unless we're talking a major freeway, in which case you really shouldn't be crossing it because there's probably no need.) By the time you're 12, you also know that Ajax is poison and Baileys is only good at Christmas.

When you graduate from college and are out on your own, you have the most free will. You can stay out late, smoke cigarettes (if you're really stupid to start), swear, wear funky clothes and just do your own thing. You have to be law abiding, and hopefully courteous to your fellow man but you do have more free will.

When you start a job, though, you loose some free will because you might not be able to wear funky clothes to work unless you work in a funky clothes store or at an FM radio station. You can stay up late if you want but you will hate yourself for doing so the next day (or later on, in the event you don't have time to sleep before work starts). You can't sleep in late because your boss will only be understanding about those things so many times before he/she gives you back more of your free will.

When you get married, your free will is eliminated again because your spouse isn't going to be too happy with you seeing other people or staying away from home when there's laundry to fold and garbage to take out.

When you have kids your free will is almost totally removed from your life. No more coming home from work and watching Wheel of Forture while eating pizza from Dominos. No more just doing your thing unless you have parents who can take the kids for a little while while you and your spouse try to reconnect - which will generally turn into painting something in the house and child-proofing the cupboards where the Ajax is stored.

Maybe people don't realize that having kids means you put their happiness first....always! Not just sometimes..always. If you find out you're not happy...you need to redefine happiness within the new boundaries that you have established for yourself. We all make choices. If they're not the right ones, work with what you got. Of course, if you're being physically abused, by all means, get out - take the kids with you. But if it's just a matter of not connecting with your spouse, get over it.

It's way to much pressure to put on someone...to make them your everything. If he/she doesn't provide you with something you need...like talking about the political downfall of George Bush....and you really love talking about Bubba...find someone who likes to talk about him. It's okay. If you find you have little in common with your spouse, take what you have and exploit it. There's something in this person that you loved enough to marry. Hold onto it.