My momma is gone. She died on Friday morning, May 19th at 1:05am. I have so much to say and so much I want to avoid getting into. It has been a rollercoaster ride the psst few days...emotionally, mentally and even physically.
I got to the ICU at the hospital at 1am on the 18th. Jim was saying how bad she looked. I guess I was expecting worse that what she was. She did not look good, this is true. By now, they had removed her teeth. She talked to me in little snibetts of info. She knew I was there. Mostly she sleep so Jim and I left to go to his house to sleep. In the morning, we all met up at her station in the ICU. We told her that we wanted her to be out of pain; they it could be done; that we could take her off the medicine that was keeping her blood pressure up and all other medicines that were bascially substaining her and then we could give her something for the pain that would make her more comfortable. She replied a few minutes later, "so I'm going to just go?" I believe it was a question and not a statement. We told her yes. We asked, do you want to be out of pain. Her reply was, "yes" but I'm not totally convinced she wanted to "just go." I think she was still mulling it over in her drug induced mind. The hospital people wasted no time in getting mom disconnected from everything..all the monitors and such. It was almost like they had someone waiting to use the bed. Mom said, "I want to say something." We waited as she conjured up the words. "Thank you for being my family." All of us lost it at this point.
More later.
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