My Dad

This evening I sat next to my dad's bed at hospice. Each time I looked to see if he was breathing I felt relieved to see that he was. I know it is better for him to go but still I was relieved.

I talked to my friend Liz back in Oklahoma. She said that she felt that my mom was in my dad's room with me tonight. After I hung up I said out loud to my mom that she needed to take my dad to heaven with her. Not 30 minutes passed when I looked at my dad and noticed his breathing had slowed down. I held his hand and told him it was okay. He took his last breathes and he was gone. I truly believe my mom played a role in this.

His new journey has just begun. I find peace knowing he too is at peace.

Thanks Jess for your prayers.

This is the scoop

I'm in NY visiting my dad. It has been a draining twelve days. Dad is in Hospice care. It's in God's hands. On Wednesday 3/26 the doctor said she didn't think he'd survive the night. It is now Sunday night...he won't give up. His heart is strong. Even his lungs are strong. He is comfortable now...high on morphine. All he does is sleep and breathe every 8 seconds. His right eye is at half mass, looking straight ahead. Hospice says he can hear me, but I'm not so sure. I have been sleeping in a cot next to him for five days. I will need to write some stories about him and our family...I have many to tell.

1 Step forward...2 steps back

When Phil got laid off I was worried. I am worried but I thought things were going to be okay when I found out the Stimulus Package included help for those on COBRA. I thought, this is great...he can get COBRA at a 65% discount which means we could use the $200 we would be paying on my health insurance for other bills, like food and paying the utilities. This would help us stay afloat until he found something else. Well, I find out it won't work this way. Because he has the ability to go on my plan...never mind that it's $360 a month more out of my check...he's not eligible for the COBRA discount. So..that's that.
And I know it can be so much worse. I get that! It's just frustrating. But it is what it is.