Ambivilence

Oklahoma got hit with a snow storm. I wanted to go to work...got up early, dressed in long johns and jeans..packed up lunch and bag...opened up the garage....went out to get the paper...slipped and slide across the drive-way...called my boss. She said she was going. I really wanted to go...but then I thought better of it. The thing is, I really feel bad about it...like I petered out on my employer. Turns out, my boss never made it in either.

Tomorrow is still iffy. The drive way has about 6 inches of snow...more in drifted areas. I need to get out but I might get stuck. I think I'm TOO committed to my employer...not good for my well being.

Presumption

I am amazed sometimes at how wrong I can be about people.

My friend a work, D, has been dating a man for over a year. I had never met him or seen pictures of him. For the past year, he was sent her flowers, a lot of flowers. One day he sent five dozen roses. It was huge...very beautiful. The frequency is sporatic...one week, it's every day; the next time will be a month later for three days. D has told me stories of trips she has gone on with him..to see Elton John in Tennessee (or some place, can't remember but they had to fly there). He has surprised her on a number of occasions, no doubt more than I know about. I know this man owns his own business. These are the things I know about him. For some reason, based on this knowledge I had envisioned a "white collar" kind of guy; a man who gets a manicure; a man of average height and weight. I don't know why. D has never shared any physical description with me. I just jumped to my own conclusions.

Yesterday, since my husband went home to be with his mom for the holiday, I went to D's house for Thanksgiving dinner. I pulled into the driveway. A rather large man was sitting there and D came out of the house to greet me. I asked her, "is this your brother?" She says, "no this is Tom!" This man was exactly the opposite of what I imaged. Like I said he was big, no doubt over 6'2" and probably running 250lbs. I only hoped I covered by shock enough. Now, don't get me wrong...him being big isn't the issue here. The issue is how I came up with my illusion of what I thought he'd be. I just never imaged her with a man three times her size.

It just threw me.

What the &@#^

There are certain things that can make you swear. I don't like to swear but people are just so friggin' weird, you have no choice. Take yesterday. I work for a company that is divided into four departments: HS, PC, BI and ADMIN. I asked one of the VPs, H, in PC this question,

"If PC was a sleigh, what would you name it?" I could see the gears rolling around in her mid-aged mind. And I thought she was working on a name but out of her mouth came, "I don't know what you're after and I...I just can't go there." Like I had asked her if she enjoyed her "busines trip" (wink) with Bill the other VP. (We have a ton of VPs..of course I'm not one of them.)

Now if you think my question was weird, well you got to know me and she should. I'm the creative one of the company, the one who comes up with cute get well cards for fellow co-workers who are sick and distributes them around the office for signatures. I'm the jokester.

I know, people are different..and that's what makes life so interesting, blah blah blah. But there is different and there is just plain wrong. Like Saddam Husain..we could just say he's different and appreciate those qualities in him that make our life interesting. Thank God we don't and I don't mean to compare H to Hussain because if there were a scale of wrongness, he would be a 10 and she would be a .025. But really I don't think my question was so bazzare she couldn't answer it. I posed it to R in my department and he came up with a few names for our sleigh.

Oh and by the way, the reason for the question is because I'm writing a poem for the Christmas party in December...kind of a parody of T'was the Night before Christmas. This is if I can get some friggin input from people in other departments.

Also, i posed this question to H while standing in the reception area and the receptionist over heard me. She had this split second to decide who to take alliance with and of course she choose the VP. Her comeback to me in H's defense was, "Oh, I think you have too much time on your hands." To which H replied, I'd have to agree" This infuriated me and I wanted to say, "if I had more time I could do this on my own, you friggin morons." But I didn't. I left before they knew I was upset.

This upsets me more...knowing I can't control myself from getting upset. The more upset I get, the more upset I get. I know it's so stupid. It's really not even worth the time to blog about it but still I get upset. Basically, I'm mad at myself for being upset. Aw...I need to see a shrink, I know because at that point I can totally understand why people bring guns to work and torment their co-workers. Not that I would do it but I certainly can understand it. I understand the tormenting part....not the kiling part, so I've decided that makes me a better person than them, no?

Anyway, I've cooled down. Took my lunch hour early and bought a new dignital camera. Nothing can apeas you more than spending money you actually have.