How I learn

You can't tell me how to do something. Well, you can tell me but it's not going to sink into my little pea brain as well as it would if you showed me. Actually you can't show me either....you have to let me do it. This is the only way I can learn. And then you have to let me play, see how it works if I follow your instructions. I also need to see how it works if I don't follow your instructions. It's like learning how to drive via a coorespondance course. Yeah, I can get the concept but it won't sink in until I've had a chance to get behind the wheel and drive and also to make mistakes. (Hopefully not resulting in a fender-bender or injury)

Randall Shirley puts it this ways:

It's simple really. Think about one of life's earliest lessons - often
taught by our mothers: The Stove Can Burn You.

• Listening learners heard their mother, believed the information, and never touched a stove.


• Seeing learners watched their brother touch the stove, and never touched it.


• Experience learners touched the stove; but only once!

I'm definitely an "experience learner."

There's an old Chinese Proverb that supports this:

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

And this is how I roll. :)

Disappointment

Here's the thing...in my last post, I talked about filters. I mentioned that a friend hurt me because she found my disagreement with her frustrating and it surprised me that I had to filter what I say to her instead of speaking my mind. I got to thinking about this some...okay..a lot...and I'm doing the very thing I'm complaining about. I'm asking her to put a filter on it; and this is wrong. Just like I feel like I should be able to say what is on my mind; she has every right to do the same.

What I've determined...and this isn't anything new...is that I need to somehow get a thicker skin. In my defense, though, I have...just, apparently, not thick enough. But that's my issue.

In any event, to her I apologize and say "We're good. It's all good!" Peace.

Friendship and acceptance

Aw....here I go again....finding something else I can't accept. Or at least, not accepting very easily.

My best friend just told me something. Not a life changing thing...not for me but something pretty big. She's made a decision about something. The thing is, it's the first I'm hearing about this decision. I don't know what bothers me more; that her life is changing without me or that she didn't trust me enough to let me know that this decision was in the works; that there was the possibility of this change in her life. I'm saddened because once again, I'm not in on the ground level of something big. Yeah, I know; it's not about me but in a way it is.

Earlier this week another friend and I were discussing something. I was spouting out my opinion; freely, as friends do until she told me she was getting frustrated with me. I know that doesn't sound harsh but coming from her it hurt me. I think now that I was surprised more than anything; surprised that I'm supposed to use a filter when speaking to her. I just never thought I needed one. Okay, yeah, I always have some kind of filter on...I am not going to insult someone but I just never thought I had to watch what I said about how I felt bout something. It's hard to explain without being more specific but I don't want to muddy the water any more.

In high school I read A Separate Peace by John Knowles. As I remember in that book, Finney couldn't accept the fact that his friend had pushed him out of a tree they were both climbing. Finney's leg was broken and eventually he died. His death was somehow linked to the fact that he couldn't accept the idea that his friend did this to him. I can't help thinking about my inability to accept things; friends who disappoint, the deaths of my parents, etc will be my demise. Sorry...I know, so morbid but it is what it is.

Thoughts for a Wednesday Lunch Time

Okay...I'm taking a break from work and feasting on my Healthy Choice meal. It's pretty good actually. Not a bounty of food but it will do the trick until around 3 o'clock. At 3:45 I'm out of here, heading for the eye doctor. I hate going to the eye doctor. I hate it more than going to the gynocologist. Seriously, I'd rather have my cervix dialated. At least with the gyno, he's in and out and over with in no time. The OD, not so fast. He's fiddling around, poking bright shiny things into my soul, dropping acid into my eyes. Okay, it's not acid but it burns like it is. In case you don't know, I'm photophobic. This is not a fear of having my picture taken but the fear of light. Seriously. Here's a secret...if you want to mug me, you don't need a gun. Just use a flashlight. I'm totally defenseless.

I am a pain in the ass!

If you think this, you're not breaking any new ground here. You're just not; no trail blazing for you.

I have a tendency to beat a subject to death. I do it all the time until I clearly understand what it is I'm discussing or until I feel satisfied that you know where I'm coming from. If you want me to stop, just nod and wholeheartedly agree with me. If you can't muster up the wholeheartedly part just give back to me what you believe I am trying to say; allow me to throw in my two-cents and then say you understand. If you don't sound convincing, I'm probably not going to stop until you either walk away or you do sound convincing.

I will sometimes ask for information with the anticipation that what I'm asking will come up. It might not. but I want to be prepared. This may strike you as me asking you unnecessary information. You may feel I'm wasting your time because maybe it won't come up. You may call in unnecessary; I call it being pro-active.

You can't blame me for showing due-diligence. Yes, I may have asked you something two days ago and you didn't have what I needed then. And I may ask you again for it two days later because things change all the time. Yes, you may have told me you'd get it to me as soon as you had it, but I can't rely on that. You have to know, people have said that to me on many occasions and they didn't come through and because I wasn't diligent in getting the info, it shined poorly on me. I can't allow that! Sorry.

This is how I roll.