Here's the thing...in my last post, I talked about filters. I mentioned that a friend hurt me because she found my disagreement with her frustrating and it surprised me that I had to filter what I say to her instead of speaking my mind. I got to thinking about this some...okay..a lot...and I'm doing the very thing I'm complaining about. I'm asking her to put a filter on it; and this is wrong. Just like I feel like I should be able to say what is on my mind; she has every right to do the same.
What I've determined...and this isn't anything new...is that I need to somehow get a thicker skin. In my defense, though, I have...just, apparently, not thick enough. But that's my issue.
In any event, to her I apologize and say "We're good. It's all good!" Peace.
4 comments:
I heard dad say that to mom a lot. What actually is "Thick Skinned"? Is it tough like leather and words, actions (other than physical), or perceptions can penetrate. Like a barrier to deflect or cause it to bounce off.
What about this, whatever words or actions that come at you, how about they just pass through you. Like your transparent. In order for that to happen you have to reliquintish personal attachment to whats said or done. There has to be no judgement on your part.
The "thick skin" is emotional justification to place blame on yourself, judge yourself unworthy, and reflect it back to where it came from.
I would think it would be a cause for perpetual interpersonal conflict.
JKD...I think you're too deep for me. :)
What is too deep! Is it too deep to stand there in front of the person or persons listening to what they are saying (verbal or written). Then filtering it with your mind and placing a judgment on what is said. That is natural. But twisting it to change the value against yourself isn't.
It is what it is. But it isn't anything that makes you less worthy or less of a person.
OK, if you make a mistake, you make a mistake. We learn and move on.
All you have to do is be the witness of what you feel at the moment. Observe how your mind labels it and how this label creates unhappiness and pain. By watching this you can step out of the resistance pattern and allow it to be.
You are right...I made a mistake. I wrote about it and I have moved on. In this post, the last thing I say is "we're good." And we are. :)
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