I can't get over the fact that my parents are gone. I know, I'm such a downer. I can't get over my husband being jobless. I can't get over my childhood house will be sold, all it's contents distributed to nameless estate sale buyers who have no idea the history behind that sofa or dining room table. I can't get over my time in NY is consider vacation by my employer when it's not like I'm going to be relaxing by the pool, drinking umbrellaed cocktails. I can't get over the constant pain in my back and shoulders. I can't get over that the past is the past and I'm supposed to move on. I can 't get over being childless. I can't get over the fact that none of my friends ever comment on my blog.
I know, they say everyone is fighting some kind of battle. I am sure that is true for many....and many are in much worse shape than I am. I get that. But there are others: blonder, thinner, richer with parents who are alive and well; with children albeit a bit rebellious. When the battle is deciding if they want hardwood vs cermanic tile; red or white wine; a Porsche vs a Lexis. I want those kind of battles.
Yes, I need an attitude adjustment - I'd be the first to tell you that. I need something. My dad would say, "You need a kick in the head." Yeah, he would say that. My mom would tell me to appreciate what I got. I know this is true. I get that. I wish she was here to tell me.....go ahead mom..give me a piece of your mind! I so welcome it.
2 comments:
I can't even imagine life without my parents. My heart aches for you.
I often feel myself having a pity party with all my "problems". There are some that I'm having a hard time getting over or finding an alternative...but I also try to keep it in perspective, especially when reading the kinds of things others are dealing with.
I hope the job thing works itself out soon. That would be so hard, and even on my worst days at work I'm thankful I have a job to complain about!
Thinking of you...
Thanks Jessica! I know, I need to suck it up because there are so many others worse off than me. My mom was like that...she had broken legs, couldn't walk and was legally blind but she'd still say she was blessed. I got huge shoes to step into there.
I know God didn't bring me to OK to be destitute...something good will happen soon and I got to just pray for patience. I'm working on it. Thanks for commenting. I appreciate ya! :)
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