It happened again. Only three weeks have past and I'm meltdowning. Crap. This is what happens at work when I try to share what knowledge I have. My suggestions are dissected like a freshman science project and everything I want to accomplish is rendered unnecessary. I'm not to think on my own without consulting someone first. I'm apparently approaching everything wrong. This all makes me sad and filled with self-doubt. This is only my third job in the past 22 years. That's longevity, right? Why do I cry?
I am told to that crying at work is unprofessional and totally frowned upon. It's disruptive. So I close my door to my officemate's office (it's apparently not mine...but my co-workers office. I just happen to be taking up some space in it.) She was out, so I closed the door to cry privately. I'm told the door is to not be closed. So I have to allow all the people who pass by to witness the grief on my face which is disruptive but that's the way it is. The bottonline I am told is "don't cry."
Try as I might, it's impossible to do this. If my feelings are hurt; if everything I suggest is deemed silly or unnecessary and I'm indirectly told I'm an idiot. Well, sorry...that hurts. I can take corrective critism, I really can but surely there has to be some merit to what I do or want to do?
I need to see this as a challenge, see if I can get it right. Try and try again. Like my momma always said, "It'll work out, you'll see."
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