A Word about Dating...

No, don't be shocked. It's not the demise of my marriage to Philip.  That will NEVER happen.  But I have a few friends who have tried to get back into the dating scene and they have told me stories.  It just boggles my mind: why is it so hard to find "the one?" 

Take my friend, Tom; he's been divorced for a couple years. He's a nice guy; tall (okay, not that tall…5’11”), dark and handsome in a chiseled kind of way; mid-50s; employed (not a millionaire but doing okay).  He's gone out on dates with woman he's met through various dating services.  The woman on the sites all seem to agree that "they don't want to play games!"  The thing is; they do!!!  It's kind of perplexing. 

Remember that book I reviewed, It Could be Worse, You Could be Me by Ariel Leve?  The one essay was about being direct with where you stand.  I realize it might be hard to hurt someone but if you're not feeling it; say so and let's move on.  Tom has told me stories about how a woman he just met, seemed genuinely interested.  She actually told him she'd like to see him again.  Tom was pretty excited about it but Tom's emails were answered in vague short sentences.

 "Can’t meet on Thursday.”

“Maybe next week." 

Then next week comes and she's busy again.  Then the emails just go unanswered.  What's up with that?  Give the guy a break.  Tom has been forced to evaluate every encounter. Even his profile on the dating site is subject to self-inflected scrutiny. 

Then there is my friend, Amy. She’s a nice lady, early 50s, grown kids, professional with a degree.  For some reason the men she meets feel that sleeping with her is a given.  They paw at her all evening, expecting something will happen.  Amy is no prude by any means, but she’s not going to sleep with a man she barely knows. Well, unless he’s famous and good looking like Glen Frey or Bon Jovi, then maybe…okay probably.  But, why do these guys act that way? I suppose she could put on her profile, “If you’re looking for sex, don’t bother contacting me.”  But if she did that, she’d get no one to respond to her profile and in her early stages of disrepair, she can’t handle that.

I just don’t get why it’s so hard to make connections? Why do people make it so hard?   No games need to be played. It should just fall into place.  Maybe I’ve been spoiled all these years by a seamless relationship with Philip.  There’s no working at it for us; it just happens.  I just wish the same for Tom and Amy.  Eventually it will, I just know it, but in the meantime all you single people: don't make it so hard!