Who is this?

Where is home?

After your folks pass on, where is home? I'm going in a few weeks to get my parent's house ready to sell...including a huge estate sale. This is not going to be easy....I was raised in this house from 2 years old until I left for the last time at 22 years old; with my shorts in a twist, sort of, over issues with my mom. God I wish so much I could go back. So much I wish. I complained about the house; it was too cold in the winter, too hot in the summer, the wall to wall shag was way outdated and my dad's handy work of paneling the entire downstairs was...well, a great work of craftsmanship, but it was paneling with dropped ceilings and florescent lighting, who does that? And now, looking back, I loved that house.

I remember my first real boyfriend, Myron...(yeah Myron....who does that to a kid?) I knew my parents wouldn't like me bringing him to my bedroom but it was really the only place where we could talk without being heard by other ears. My mother, of course, was against it..."bring your boyfriend to your bedroom? You just might as well go down to the orphanage and get you a kid!" But she conceded to let my dad decide. He looked at his watch and said, "Okay...go!" And he proceeded to do mock clock watching.

Now my room was great because it was really all mine. I could paint and decorate it as I wish. The walls were made of some kind of press board which meant there was no issue with sticking tacks in it. I tacked an entire wall of furry material to it. I painted feet up another wall in red. It was my room. I painted a picture of tree at sunset on the wall behind the door. I let my creative go.

There was no heat upstairs except for whatever drifted up the steps. There was a small gas heater in the bathroom that I wasn't allowed to light until I was 15 years old or so.

Recently I've come across old photos of the place...before the shag and the panelling and the drop ceiling...when the floors throughout most of it were hard wood and the wallpaper had faded cardinals and pinkish flowers.

And now I am going home to say good bye to a home I haven't lived in for more than half my life. Having said that, it shouldn't be so hard....should it? But it is...hard to say good bye to something you thought would be there forever.

Lunchtime Ramblings

Lately I've been thinking about feet. Well, mostly my feet are hurting me. We had a contest at work to see which team could walk the most in a week. The company even handed out little pedometers to count our steps. Ever since then, my feet are hurting me.

I went to Compton's Shoes over on 50th and Portland last week. The owner, a very knowledgeable "pediologist" told me that my shoes are too small. Now, keep in mind my feet are....well, for a woman...a bit on the large size. I wear a ladies 11 or a mens 9 1/2. He tells me I should be wearing a ladies 13 and a men's 11 1/2! Yeah!

The owner tells me that most people are wearing the wrong sized shoe because feet are not measured by the length but rather by the width of the widest part of the foot. But to add insult to injury, my feet are extra narrow..AA.

I'm not a vain person; I really don't buy into paying for the latest styles or fashions but I have my limits. I mean a size 13! I might as well have my toes webbed! Over the weekend I went to Walmart (I know...not exactly a shoe store) and bought a pair of men's sneakers in size 10 1/2. This is it! I'm not going any bigger!! I will admit, my feet ARE better.

Dr Seuss said it...

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

My Nephew is so cute

Okay...these are NOT recent pics but I came across them today and had to post them. This is Jon. He's such a cutie.

God I love reinforcement

I've made an amazing discovery again. I knew it all along but it is so grand when you find out your opinion turns out to be dead on; when something happens that proves you are right. I wish I could go into specifics but since my blog is read by so many and I am, basically, a mini-celeb, I have to watch what I say to not offend. But trust me! There is safety in numbers. And I'm a happy little gal tonight.

Me and Dad

I texted my dad the other day. He was never very good with responding. I guess he's just busy.

This is quite lovely

My Friends

I work for and with the most amazing people. While I was away my friends and co-workers got together to collect funds for me and Philip. They knew Phil was unemployed and I was taking days off without pay (I was out of PTO). These people totally blew me away when I got back and they handed me three sympathy cards filled with condolences, signatures and over five hundred dollars. I cried. I have never experience such thoughtfulness and concern from people I work with. Never! Everyone has been so totally supportive. I feel so blessed.

It got me thinking about things that I have written about last year...about friendships and where the line is drawn; about when is a co-worker a friend and not just a co-worker. This is proof positive that I was right. If you give a little of yourself in a philanthroistic way or in a caring way...you have crossed the line. It doesn't mean that if I hold a door open for someone at the mall, I can expect an invitation to her birthday party but I did a friendly thing to someone I don't know. My co-worker friends did a wonderful thing with their support towards me during a difficult time. I don't expect invitations to their kids birthday parties; I don't expect anything at all but I know they are my friends. And I truly appreciate them!

(The photo is of a Halloween pumpkin I carved for a contest in October. HPI is in the background, the name of the company. All the signs stuck in the pumpkin are entities HPI owns or operates. I won 3rd place.)

My Dad

This evening I sat next to my dad's bed at hospice. Each time I looked to see if he was breathing I felt relieved to see that he was. I know it is better for him to go but still I was relieved.

I talked to my friend Liz back in Oklahoma. She said that she felt that my mom was in my dad's room with me tonight. After I hung up I said out loud to my mom that she needed to take my dad to heaven with her. Not 30 minutes passed when I looked at my dad and noticed his breathing had slowed down. I held his hand and told him it was okay. He took his last breathes and he was gone. I truly believe my mom played a role in this.

His new journey has just begun. I find peace knowing he too is at peace.

Thanks Jess for your prayers.

This is the scoop

I'm in NY visiting my dad. It has been a draining twelve days. Dad is in Hospice care. It's in God's hands. On Wednesday 3/26 the doctor said she didn't think he'd survive the night. It is now Sunday night...he won't give up. His heart is strong. Even his lungs are strong. He is comfortable now...high on morphine. All he does is sleep and breathe every 8 seconds. His right eye is at half mass, looking straight ahead. Hospice says he can hear me, but I'm not so sure. I have been sleeping in a cot next to him for five days. I will need to write some stories about him and our family...I have many to tell.

1 Step forward...2 steps back

When Phil got laid off I was worried. I am worried but I thought things were going to be okay when I found out the Stimulus Package included help for those on COBRA. I thought, this is great...he can get COBRA at a 65% discount which means we could use the $200 we would be paying on my health insurance for other bills, like food and paying the utilities. This would help us stay afloat until he found something else. Well, I find out it won't work this way. Because he has the ability to go on my plan...never mind that it's $360 a month more out of my check...he's not eligible for the COBRA discount. So..that's that.
And I know it can be so much worse. I get that! It's just frustrating. But it is what it is.

Here's My take...

Okay...the bill has been signed..it's going to happen this way so we need to stop fighting it. I know, I know, there are so many who feel this is the wrong path. I can't say I disagree with you but the reality of it all is that it is what it is and we have to stop fighting it. Being against the Stimulus Package is fine but it's how it is! Like death...you gotta do it! Yeah, you can kick and scream and hope and pray but it's still going to happen. Stop fighting it.

My biggest fear is that so many on-air personalities (Rush, Quinn & Rose and just about 90% of those on XM radio) are going to feed into the lazy American..enable them to be..well, lazy. This mass complacency will take over. "Well, the whole thing was stupid so let's screw the government and take them for all we can." People won't really look for work. Why bother if the benefits are there to stay on unemployment? What the media needs to do is embrace the programs this bill allows and talk it up in a positive light. Echo the enthusiasm that President Obama has! Talk it up...we CAN get up out of this if we all do our part.

There are many people I hear saying, "why should I bail out people who were so stupid to get themselves into a situation where they can't make their mortgage payment?" My answer...

because we are Americans and this is what Americans do...

they help each other out. If you're going to get mad about helping out your neighbor than get mad and the lower class woman whose biggest ambition is to have children just so they can stay on the dole! That's infuriating. Social Services are suppose to be a temporary thing but so many are born into the system and think it's a way of life. That's wrong. Get mad at the people who deliberately fry their brains on drugs just so they can get disability benefits and not have to face reality. Yeah, we all know that often reality sucks but life is what you make it....just as my blog is titled.

We need to come together, support our President and keep our chins up. We also need to all do our part to make this work! We have to! All of you!

A Modern Parablea

A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (Ford) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.

The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing. Feeling a deeper study was in order, American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing. Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents, and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the 'Rowing Team Quality First Program,' with meetings, dinners, and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes, and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was out-sourced to India. The End.

Here's something else to think about:

Ford has spent the last thirty years moving all its factories out of the US, claiming they can't make money paying American wages. TOYOTA has spent the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants inside the US.

The last quarter's results:
TOYOTA makes 4 billion in profits while Ford racked up 9 billion in losses.

Ford folks are still scratching their heads.

IF THIS WEREN'T TRUE, IT MIGHT BE FUNNY !

Word 2003

Happy Birthday Mom and Aunt Ree

My mom and her twin sister are celebrating their 74th birthday up in heaven today. They have a lot of people at their party...their mom and dad; their brother, Paul and his daughter Tammy; and Uncle Ernie (Aunt Ree's husband.) My dad's mom and dad are there too. Gramma wouldn't miss a party. They're playing Uno...I am sure of it. Mom loved that game. I'm sure they invited Phil's dad too.

A Duck in the Truck

This is cute!

I will Never Let this happen again!

Do yourself a huge favor...NEVER BORROW MONEY AGAIN! If you have loans right now...and you're working...eat rice and beans; get a second job; whatever it takes to pay the friggin thing off. You do not need a credit card!!!!! Do not buy a new flat screen TV because you don't have to make payments until April! It's a trick. It's stupid. Credit is NOT the American way. Don't be fooled into it. Cash is the only way to go.

OKay...Here we go Again!

It was 2 years and 16 days ago that Phil lost his job the first time. Well, it's happened again. He got his walking papers this afternoon.

It's not as bad this time. I mean it has the same implication but things are a bit better. I have a better job than last time. I have my own insurance through this job when last time I was covered through his employer and subsequently, COBRA. To cover Phil on my policy is a little less than COBRA, not a whole lot but...since I work for a medical group, all doctor visits are covered 100%.

We had some work done on the house when he had gone back to work and now. This means that if we have to sell, our house is more ready. I hope it doesn't come to this though but we will see.

I was going to do the Dave Ramsey program...now I will have no choice but to eat Ramon noodles and stop eating out.

I know we can do this. We can get through this. We have a new president coming into office next week. He says he's going to make things better. He's all about helping the unemployed. It's going to be okay. I know it. Now I have to get Phil to know it.

Facebook bans Breast-Feeding

Okay...I'm not a mother; I'll never be a mother so maybe I have no right to blog about this...but since it is my blog, I will. Facebook apparently has removed photos from blogs that show mothers breast-feeding. Well, they will allow it if the breasts are covered enough.

There are many ladies who are upset with this. (article) I just have a hard time understanding why it's so important to share photos of your child breast-feeding. Why would you show them? I just don't get it. Yes, it's a wonderful nuturing event, no doubt. But one that is needed to be shared? I'm not getting it.