The good aunt

Recently I have been reminded of a memory from my childhood. I must have been eleven or twelve. Gramma Kay, my mom's mom, was visiting from Florida. I rarely saw Gramma Kay but I was the granddaughter who wrote to her... a lot. Writing was my thing so that came easy to me. She sometimes marveled at my writing. I think that made this memory more vivid...I just didn't expect anything but warm acolades for my work.

I had tried something different. I took a beer bottle, one of those short brown glass bottles, and I painted it blue. After the paint had dried, I wasn't happy with the results so I smeared Elmer's Glue on it and took multi-colored blue yarn and laid rows and rows of it around the circumference of the bottle until I came to the top. I made a flower out of multi-colored tissues and I stuck the flower into the opening of the bottle. I then walked across the hall from my bedroom to Ed's room. Gramma Kay was staying in his room while she visited.

"Here, Gramma, I made something for you," I said smiling as I handed to her my creation.

It was a look of sheer displeasure on her face as she looked at it that is enbedded in my brain. This was not the reaction I had expected. Not at all.

"Well, thank you," she said as she took the bottle into her room.

There were no "this is lovely" or "for me? you shouldn't have." Nothing.

I don't think it surprised me to find the bottle in Ed's room after she left.

Now, I don't have grandchildren but I do have two nieces and a nephew. I am visiting them now. My one niece, Kate and her brother Jon, are going through a rather difficult time as their parents have split up.

I'm spending a lot of time at my dad's trying to get his house organized and in shape for when he gets out to the hospital. Last night Kate was suppose to return to his house to help me out. She did not. I told her I was mad and the tears started to flow. I was sad for having said this and upsetting her but I felt relieved to know I matter that much to her; that she still values my opinion. I know after Gramma Kay showed such disregard for my feelings, I didn't value her opinion much after that incident. I would hate for that to happen between me and Kate. I reassured her that I understand she is having a hard time and it was okay that she didn't feel like helping out. (My dad's house is such a mess, it is scaring. So I do understand.)

How many people share your name?

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 27 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Free Will

It's a strange concept...free will. Some think it refers to God. I suppose it does but it also doesn't have to. When you are born you have no free will. When you finally learn how to crawl, your mother stops you before you get too far. She puts childproof locks on all the lower cupboards so you can't get in them and taste the Ajax. She removes all of the chairs so you can't climb onto the cupboards and taste the Baileys.

If you want to play with a plastic bag, even though it clearly says on the bag, "this is not a toy," but you have a very attentive mom or dad, you can't play with the plastic bag. Sorry....your free will is limited.

As you grow you get more free will. Mom and dad think that by the time you're 12 you can cross the street without them (unless we're talking a major freeway, in which case you really shouldn't be crossing it because there's probably no need.) By the time you're 12, you also know that Ajax is poison and Baileys is only good at Christmas.

When you graduate from college and are out on your own, you have the most free will. You can stay out late, smoke cigarettes (if you're really stupid to start), swear, wear funky clothes and just do your own thing. You have to be law abiding, and hopefully courteous to your fellow man but you do have more free will.

When you start a job, though, you loose some free will because you might not be able to wear funky clothes to work unless you work in a funky clothes store or at an FM radio station. You can stay up late if you want but you will hate yourself for doing so the next day (or later on, in the event you don't have time to sleep before work starts). You can't sleep in late because your boss will only be understanding about those things so many times before he/she gives you back more of your free will.

When you get married, your free will is eliminated again because your spouse isn't going to be too happy with you seeing other people or staying away from home when there's laundry to fold and garbage to take out.

When you have kids your free will is almost totally removed from your life. No more coming home from work and watching Wheel of Forture while eating pizza from Dominos. No more just doing your thing unless you have parents who can take the kids for a little while while you and your spouse try to reconnect - which will generally turn into painting something in the house and child-proofing the cupboards where the Ajax is stored.

Maybe people don't realize that having kids means you put their happiness first....always! Not just sometimes..always. If you find out you're not happy...you need to redefine happiness within the new boundaries that you have established for yourself. We all make choices. If they're not the right ones, work with what you got. Of course, if you're being physically abused, by all means, get out - take the kids with you. But if it's just a matter of not connecting with your spouse, get over it.

It's way to much pressure to put on someone...to make them your everything. If he/she doesn't provide you with something you need...like talking about the political downfall of George Bush....and you really love talking about Bubba...find someone who likes to talk about him. It's okay. If you find you have little in common with your spouse, take what you have and exploit it. There's something in this person that you loved enough to marry. Hold onto it.

quotes that just stick with me

"Silence is golden but sometimes it's yellow!" I remember that quote from the original Password with Alan Ludden..when I was a kid. After every show Alan would say a quote he received in the mail from the "home audience." It's just kind of weird how some of the various lines I use today (yes, I didn't make them up) had come from my childhood TV watching.

"Spare me your poisonous barbs for your whims of humor fall on deaf ears." Guess who? Dr. Smith on "Lost in Space." Yeah...remember Promo the robot who kept saying "Warning warning!" and little Will?

"I could never be a nurse. I get whoosing looking at an open faced sandwich." Guess who? Norm on Cheers!

"I haven't been around but...I've been near by." Mary Richards on MTM Show.

"You're mildly unrepugnant." Diane referring to Sam on Cheers!

"He's as gay as a picnic basket." Sophia on The Golden Girls.

Oh, and I lifted this one off my sixth grade English assignment..."Do not compute the number of your barnyard fowls prior to their incubation."

I know...

Silence is power

I truly believe that moody people need to be shot. Seriously...there is no room in this world for people who want to be negative; who would rather ignore someone's cheerfulness for the sake of not feeding into their joy. Life is just too friggin short. Okay...if you miss your dose of lithum...fine...I'll spare you the firing squad. If you've been just told you are terminal ill...fine..spend the rest of your days in a negative funk.

But if this is your natural disposition...sorry...no use for you. Take aim...fire!

And don't blame being overworked or "have too much to do." Nah...that won't cut it either. Everyone who works for someone else is over worked. It's called "working" for a reason. You can only get done what you can get done. Unless you're spending too much time on "break" and you are truly doing your job, you're not going to get fired for being too personable and friendly...for saying "good morning," "how's it going?" "you're looking very nice today." If you do get fired for any of these thing, you don't need to work there. You don't need that kind of negativity around you.

That's just all there is to it.

Liberty Fest: Taste of Edmond

We just got back from the Taste of Edmond. This is a huge part of Edmond's Liberty Fest (which was rated as CNN top 10 places to be over the July 4th Weekend). And it's great...they have many vendors donating the food that is a favorite at their respective restaurant...they have many people helping out...and they have a great venue. It's all great...in theory!

The problem is so many people partake. Normally this is a good thing but here, it's wall to wall people and there's all these lines to wait in but the lines are schewd, overlapping each other and you don't know what vendor you're in line for until you get closer.

By my fourth line, I had had it. It wasn't fun anymore. It was endless waiting, juggling the item you rec'd in the last line you waited in for 15 minutes along with your drink, dodging strollers and people who don't believe they are supposed to say, "excuse me" before crossing in front of you so they could get to another line.

I hate to be a killjoy but....I probably will not be going next year.

If it were up to me, I think it should be set up like this. Seat the people and have the vendor's hire highschool kids to bring their fare to each table. I'm all for this. Instead of having 3000 people running around; have 300. This makes more sense to me..but it's not up to me...so I'll get off my high horse and go watch Password.

Just call us Gramma and Grampa

I finally got around to visiting the new neighbors. They moved in across the street about 3 weeks ago. I've been meaning to go over to welcome them to the neighborhood. They appear to be a very nice young couple with a 5 year old daughter. I would guess they are in their mid-20's.

We had a pleasant conversation about the usual...what we did for a living, how long we've been in Edmond..blah blah blah...but I swear things came to a screeching halt when he said, "I think you and your husband are probably the oldest couple on the street."

"Oh righty then!"

I didn't stay long after that and as I left I did have this overwhelming urge to say, "Well, I gotta go...I think the Ex-lax is kicking in and it's almost time for my Geritol."

Or I should have asked if he had any tennis balls for the feet of my walker.

I told Phil that next time he sees him to say, "Hey how ya doing there son?"

It's kind of strange to be thought of as "old." I'm not sure I've earned it.

I just don't care....

Right now, I just don't care if Obama is the son of Osama. I don't care if polar bears are in danger because Bush has signed some bill or something giving oil companies permission to find oil in the Chukchi Sea. I don't care who becomes president in November. I don't care about Kobi Bryant or the housing bubble or same-sex unions going on in CA.

Right now, all I care about is my dad; about the tumors returning to his bladder. If they are and they have to remove them the surgery will probably push back his surgery to repair an embolism in his aorta which will push back the surgery to remove the bladder. He's had enough road blocks! That's what he calls them. If you read this, please pray he will be better. That's all I care about right now.

(Notice the remote in his hand. Such a natural pose!)

Oh this makes sense..

I don't watch The Bacholette but I see the many many promos. It looks like they are trying something new.

They're bringing in the authority in men who wear boxes...yes, Ellen DeGeneres! They decided the show apparently needed someone who knows men! Yep, that'll be Ellen!

My idea of a vacation

Oh man...I loved today. I loved not going to work. I loved doing stuff around the house but more importantly...I loved the opportunity to nap. I know, most people like to do stuff, go boating, camping, cook on the grill but my idea of the perfect day off...is a good nap right smack in the middle of the day. Why? You may ask. Because I can!!!!! This works for me.

If you make your bed...

If you make a choice to do something and it ends up causing you grief, can you complain about it? Isn't the grief self-inflicted?

If you decide you don't love your spouse like a person is suppose to love a spouse and you tell your spouse this and you make plans to be with another and for whatever reason it makes you sad or upset or whatever, should people around you feel bad for you? Isn't this one of those times where you're making your bed and you need to lay in it?

Am I wrong for not feeling sorry for this person?

May 19th

I've been working on my present job for not quite a year. When I first was hired, there was one lady, Pam, in the company who worked at a different building who emailed me. Her primary reason to email me was to welcome me to the company. I was new and I didn't know the culture of the workplace so I freely emailed with her over the next few weeks. We seemed to be on the same line of thinking...believing that each day was a gift and that we needed to cherish each of them even if it was not Friday. I just felt some sort of connection with this woman.

When I met her for the first time it was like we just knew each other. It's so hard to explain but there was not much of a beat we were missing. She just struck me as "my kind of person."

In August we moved into a new building together. I found Pam's office on a couple of occasions as some kind of refuse. I was having a hard time with others who were not privy to my line of thinking. Pam offered me support. She let me vent and sometimes she laid it out for me in no uncertain terms. We shared the honesty that can be hard to find in the business world.

In the last few months, Pam's mom became ill. I would check on her, asking Pam how she was doing. I prayed at night that her mom would be okay or if God had plans that Pam would find the strength to let it happen.

I found out today, May 19th, 2008 that Pam's mom passed on. I find it no accident that Pam lost her mom exactly two years to the day, that I lost my momma. And I firmly believe that Pam and I are not the only ones who share a connection.

On that show Lost

I don't watch "Lost" but I see the 86 million promos ABC airs during the three or four shows I watch during the week and all I can say is:

Will someone please save these people!!!!!

The promos are making me nuts. Aw..I just can't believe how much grief these people have had. Wasn't falling from the sky enough drama? Like I said, I don't watch the show but I know they have had problems with getting along with one another, being so-called rescued by what turns out to be unfriendly people and for the most part, escaping death at every turn. Please ABC...save them!!! Have a show with them dealing with post partum or whatever that syndrome is that I can't remember the name of where you have flashbacks etc. You know. Just lose "Lost"....for me.

And so it goes..

Only one more test and one more memo to write and I am a graduated college professional! Wow! 29 years in the making.

I am not going to the ceremony on Saturday or having a party. Maybe Phil and I will go out and do something fun ..like give blood. We tried to give today. Phil was successful. I had had an steriod epidural 10 days ago. You need to wait 14 before donating though. Just an FYI.

Something will come up...something fun...also our 21st anniversary is this month too. Please send money.

Choices

We all make choice. Each day you make a hundred.

• Should I make the right on red or wait until the light turns green?
• Should I bring my lunch to work or go out?
• Should I take an umbrella?
• Should I wear heels?
• Should I go on the turnpike?

See there's five and I haven't even got to work.

Of course there are bigger ones to make - go to college, get married, get involved with someone, have an affair, or not; end an affair.

My problem is when those who need to make a choice, don't...they sit on it and you can't do anything. And your life hangs in the balance. Decide already...okay.

Update on my dad

It appears that the cancer is contained only in the bladder. We hadn't gotten the official word from someone, say a doctor...but the nurses at Roswell Cancer Institute say the scan "looked good." They release my dad on Saturday...sent him packing with a prescription and his very own cathader to collect all his pinkish pee. Yikes....now there's TMI. The hope now is he can get in soon to have the aneurism fixed, recover from that and then take the bladder.

He's doing okay but a bit, understandably, apprehensive.

Still listening

The Book of Joe on CD is my first book that I'm having read to me. I'm really liking this concept. I just started the third disk with Chapter 11. I probably could read faster but I'm listening while driving so, since laws and the distraction of driving hinders reading, I'm multi-tasking. I am sure I will do this again with another book. Maybe Eddie's Bastard....I loved that book.

At lunch I was going to go the mall but decided to just drive to Taco Bueno for a Bob. I took the long way just so I could listen more.

I love his descriptions but I am not sure the average person takes in all that he's describing unless they are going to write about it. Lunch is almost over....gotta go.

I'm my Parent's Daughter

My dad is very sick. He has bladder cancer and he lies in a bed at a cancer center in Buffalo. He had a tumor removed in the fall and now, he just had another taken out today. It's bad. He's not really healthy enough to have the bladder removed, which would be the best thing. They are running scans right now to see if the cancer has spread. I'm home, here in OK, prayer with all my might that it hasn't.

I want to get on a plane to go see him. I know there are a lot of people who would just go....just book a flight regardless of the cost and go. I am my mother's daughter and my father's daughter...there is no doubt about it. I'm on the net comparing prices and trying to decide when to leave. If I leave tomorrow its almost $900. If I leave on Sunday, it's under $300. I just don't know what to do. I'm waiting for my brother to call with more info. I just don't know what to do.

I'm in that kind of mood

I'm listening, in the car for the past four trips somewhere, to a book on CD. It's The Book of Joe by Jonathan Trooper. I've read the book...actually read it...a couple years ago. It's been long enough that I really don't know what is going to happen as I listen. I have a vague recollection of there being a Mrs Robinson kind of thing going and I think someone dies. I'm not sure.

Anyway, it's got me in this frame of mind where as I write this I can hear the narrator speaking my words in my head just like he reads Troopers. It's weird. I really hear him. Trooper writes well and I find myself saying...I can do this....I can rely my life in the same manner; I can put words together in a crafty way where they sound plausible, funny with a bit of familiarity. I can have snappy answers in my dialog of my story too.

For example, yesterday, I saw someone taking a rather large piece of birthday cake out of the kitchen. I had to make a conscience effort to not say what was running though my head....I bit my lip. It was good but the urge to say, "that's a mighty big piece of cake for someone on a diet" hung in the air as he waddled out of the room. I could almost feel him wish to not have me there to witness this transaction; a sort of hesitation with doing it with a desire to say, "f-you, I'm hungry for something sweet. F the diet too" and continuing with the confection get away.
There...that is very Trooperish.

I'm working on a short story, hopefully for True Story magazine. This story does not have the same tone as The Book of Joe. It's really pretty bad in that it's not deep with detail and the flow of the story is a bit choppy. You don't have to describe every single thing...just give the essence and move on.

We'll see.

I didn't think it could happen....

...but apparently it did. I have recieved some information today that clearly states I, yes me...yes little ol me, have cornered the market on words! It's true. All the words that are spoken or written in a blog belong to me! No one else is allowed to use them because they are MINE! I find this a little hard to believe because I know in my heart of hearts, I really don't matter.

I know that may be hard to hear but it's true. I am not a bleep on anyone's radar screen...well except for my husband and my family. If I am to speak of you; or describe an occurance that you were party to...you as the reader have absolutely no recourse. You can't comment on what I have said because to do so would mean you are using words and we all know, now, that those words belong to ME!

I suppose this is why YOU don't comment. Apparently that memo went around but no one cc'ed me until now. Now I get it.

Should I take this time to say, I reliquish my hold on all words? As of now, you can comment and I promise, I will not delete your comment unless you are spamming me. It's okay...I give up my corner of the market. You can also set up your own blog and tell stories of what happened with whomever...even me. I'll let you. There you have permission. Use the words and use them wisely. Even though they are not limited and there are more words out there if you just look. They are everywhere! I swear!