Recently I wrote to a friend asking why I hadn't heard from her in a while. Her response came to me as a shock.She wrote: I am sorry but because of your actions and the perspective that you put out to the world (which is your perspective) via your blog and your facebook page, I have made a personal decision to remove myself from this situation. If I don't act in the way you think I should or if I say something in which you do not agree, the situation ends up in your blog or on your facebook page.
I am totally blindsided! In the past I have written about people who I felt had wronged me....there's no denying it but NEVER this woman. I never had a reason too. She was my friend. She didn't do anything to warrant me to write about her. She has always been my biggest supporter. She was actually on the phone with me when my dad passed away. When my co-workers took up a collection for me when my dad died, there's no doubt she was one of the biggest contributors. She has always been the most thoughtful caring person I have every known.
I wrote her saying I didn't know what she was referring to but she hasn't acknowledged that email . She may never have read it. I don't know. It saddens me so much that she wants to walk away from our friendship especially since her reasoning is not sound. My only thinking is that she's using this as an excuse.
I have talked to many cancer survivors and read many blogs from people in my situation and many talk about someone who just can't handle the situation of knowing their friend is that much closer to facing their mortality. It's scary knowing a friend may not make it. I have to learn to accept the fact that everyone handles situations differently. Fight or flee? It's too bad for me she choose the latter. I will miss her.
Right now though I need to focus on my recovery and the support system I have! And that's what I need to do.
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