It's so easy for things to change. One minute people you love are there and they next they are not. One day, you're 25 and loving life and the next you're 50 wishing you had really realized those really were the best days of your life. Often we think that little things are no biggies; nothing to be concerned with and often they are but sometimes....even those little things can become defining moments.
I've been disappointed many times in my life by people I thought were my friends. I'm still amazed each time by how off guard I am....how often I feel like it was so unexpected. I know, many will say this is just a part of being human, being disappointed but with me, it seems like an epidemic. I think mostly it's because I'm so trusting and forgiving. My mom used to tell me that this was not a good quality to have; not for me. She called them "fair weather friends." But I can't stop being who I am. I forgive, it's what I do.
I know I'm too blame, that I often set myself up. I believe in people. I believe that they know what they are saying and I rely on that. It's like being told that the dress to a party is casual by my friends and showing up in dockers and a sweater only to find my friends wearing black tie and saying, "oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to call you." Like thinking they are my friends but discovering I'm really just an after thought.
Recently the line was drawn in the sand with someone I thought I could count on and I'm just going to have to accept that. It is what it is....me under dressed....again.
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