Tomorrow is the big day. I thought I should write today to share my thoughts and feelings before the surgery and then compare them to afterward. So here goes:
Many people have told me that I will mourn the loss of my breasts. I don't know about this. I feel like my boobs betrayed me. The idea that they are malignant flabs of flesh kind of freaks me out. I really want them gone. I say this now but, I don't know I might be singing a different tune tomorrow afternoon. I'll, no doubt, miss the healthy ones.
It's funny because I never really flaunted my breasts. I never wore low-cut tops or halters. I guess I wasn't raised that way. Modesty was my mom's big mantra. I always felt there was no place in the workplace for them. I have to say I was kind of surprised when I moved in Oklahoma in 1998 and saw more woman showing cleavage at work than I saw in Buffalo, NY. Who would have thought that? The state didn't even allow the lottery at that time but showing deep glimpses of your private parts at work was okay. Aw the irony.
People don't mourn the lost of their spleen, right. Well, I guess that has to be different. Last I checked a spleen isn't a part of your sexuality. Bad example.
So, I'm just counting down the hours now....checking out my own boobs every now and then...saying my good-byes. I guess they served me well for 35 years. That's not a bad run, right? (Yeah, if you do the math, I was a late bloomer!) :) But I'll be fine. See ya on the flip side. :)
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