The Last Day

Well, I did it. I wrote everyday this month. It wasn't always easy. But it's done. I guess there is over 6000 participates in this "blog-every-day-of-November-Contest" Wish me luck on a prize...but you never know.

Charity

Part of the company I work for, including myself, have adopted a family to get for them Christmas presents. It's a nice charity and I will give but I have some concerns. This particular family is a mother with 8 kids. I guess one of them is a neice but still she has 8 kids. I don't know the whole situation with this family but they seem like a well deserving family.

The lady who organized this, had a pick of another family of five. This family listed their gifts they would like. This included particular movies, games for an Xbox thingy and Intendo. Now, I know these are nice gifts but my thinking is, if you can afford these games...whatever it is you need to play them on...then you're not that needy. I know, they may have gotten them last year but ...I just feel better giving to a family who is looking for clothes and food.

I have a hard time with the Toys for Tots campaign. I know it's well meaning but you can live a perfectly happy life without toys. I can't get myself to buy a kid a toy unless it's educational or requires a little imagination. I can buy books, and art supplies but not Intendo. That's just me.

I'm glad we are doing this project. I asked if I can help deliver the items and I am going to do it. I think just seeing their faces will be very rewarding. I look forward to it.

What if...

You never read in the paper where a psychic won the lottery? If I had that kind of power, my life would be so different. I wouldn't be swimming in money but I wouldn't have to watch each penny either. I know, they say money won't buy happiness and I get that but I would be so much more happyierif I didn't have to worry about having enough money for gas to get to work.

Once I went to lunch w/ my nephew Jon at his elementary school. To tell you how much I have to think about spending, I was actually looking for the price menu so I would know if I could afford a junior cheeseburger. Of course there wasn't an prices listed so I had to just wing it, get it and fork over the cash. I had the money with me, I just wanted to be sure I was getting my money's worth.

Yes, if I could predict the numbers in the lottery, I'd win me some, at least once. I could do so much with that money....and not just for me...for those I care about and for those I don't know too. I'd love to stand outside the dollar store and hand out dollars to all the kids who were going into the store with their parents. I think that would be fun. I'd drive through McDonalds and give the cashier a $1000 and tell her to give free meals to everyone in line until the money ran out. I'd love to see their expression when they find out they don't have to pay for their happy meal. I'd give to every animal shelter in Oklahoma and Western NY. I'd buy doggy beds in bulk and bring them to each shelter. It would be so much fun.

Yeah, money won't buy happiness but I'd love to have the chance to learn that lesson. Here's to dreaming.

I know it...

I'm on the cusp of something. Something is brewing in my brain getting ready to escape. I think it may be something I create or write. I know I have to write my year end holiday newsletter, so that may be it. I have several stories in mind. I feel the urge to write the most, when I'm no where in a position to write...like at work. When I get to a place that is condusive to writing; the ideas just don't come. It's so weird.

It's like when I leave the house to go to work, I find some many things I wish I could stay home and do; like clean the bathroom. I never want to clean the bathroom more than when I'm on the way out the door. If I were at home, it would lose its luster and fast. Amazing how that works. Wasn't it Jim Croce who had that song about, "...there never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do, once you find them?"

I have ideas for tonight...Dancing with the Stars, the Xmas letter, learning Indesign, clean something....let's see what I get done.

The coke habit update

I have been pretty good in my quest to be coke-free. I have not been perfect. I have had awful headaches lately and I am sure it is because of the lack of caffeine. At the airport to Buffalo, and back I had to have a coke. My head was throbbing. Aside from these few times, I have been basically coke-free. I have not had any since Friday. I think I've done quite well.

I'm learning to love Rootbeer. You know, although it is dark like Coke, it does not have any phospheric acid. It has no caffeine either. Iced Tea is also free of Phospheric acid unless you buy it already bottled.

That's all for tonight.

25 Things I want my 15 year old niece to know

1. It's okay to be different; to not follow the pack.
2. To be different however, should never hurt. IE body piercing, tatoos are not "different" - just a painful way to express yourself differently. Trust me on this.
3. You are a beautiful person, inside and out.
4. Remember you get more bees with honey.
5. You will not win friends or influence people by rubbing their noses in their mistakes.
6. It's okay to be wrong.
7. If you have wronged someone, even unintentionally, you need to make it right. An apology will usually suffice.
8. If someone makes fun of you because they have deened your outfit unfashionable, it's okay to refer to yourself as a "trail blazer;" someone who has started a new trend.
9. Be patient with older folks, those in their 40s, who may not understand technology as good as you. IE Ipods, downloads, MP3's and texting.
10. You will have plenty of time to have a relationship with a boy. Don't push it. It will happen.
11. Finish what you start.
12. Concentrate on school.
13. Don't seek out a boy/man just so you can have someone take care of you. You are strong enough to take care of yourself. Once you have established yourself, then you can give a boy/man the pleasure of taking care of you.
14. Yes, love is important in a relationship but don't allow a boy/man into your life who wants you to take care of them. You each need to take care of yourself.
15. People can change, but only if they want to.
16. It's okay to change your mind about your career path.
17. It's a lot easier to understand a situation if you step back for a moment.
18. Everything will work out.
19. You will outgrow a lot of your fears.
20. There are shades of gray.
21. Your family loves you very much.
22. Bacon and toast is a lousy breakfast. (Fat and what will turn into sugar)
23. It's okay to know a little about a lot but it's imporant to know a lot about a little too.
24. You have a good head on your shoulders.
25. I trust you completely.

I AM THANKFUL:

...FOR THE WIFE WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME, AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE. (okay, it doesn't apply, but you get it)

FOR THE HUSBAND WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO, BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS. (again, doesn't apply)

FOR THE TAXES I PAY BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED .

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS. (If only)

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE (not really something I enjoy but I'm thankful we have the sun to warm us.)

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING, WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING, AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME. (okay...maybe a shower to clean and a bed to make applies more to me)

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION .

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEY BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

Home In Oklahoma

Well, my "traveler from hell" title must be removed. We made it to Buffalo and back to OKC with NO delays, waylays...or any kind of lays whatsoever. It must be traveling with Phil. He's my lucky charm. The news reports all kinds of travel delays but we did not see any of them.

Something about going back to NY makes me want to do better. I think about it, all the way home, how I'm going to sleep less and do more; be a better housekeeper, workout, eat better, be more productive at home and at work; learn more; do more work on my investing club. I may be inspired by my brother Jim, and his wife, Debi. These people don't like to sit for too long; especially Jim. He's always doing something, up on the roof cleaning out the gutters or in the garage tinkering, or in the office working on a computer design project as a side job, or in the basement putting in a new hard drive on someone's computer. He's always busy. He rarely watches TV. Yeah, he inspires me to do more. Let's see how long this lasts.

So far, I've haven't done much but criticized myself for leaving dirty pans on the stove all week. Ugh. Oh well.

Happy Thanksgiving

I'm thankful for so many things.

Thankful for my wonderful husband, who, for the most part, gets me; my great dad and my brothers and their families; the ability to make an honest living; the good things I see each day; for God who I know is there and the memories of my mom who I know is watching over me.

It's so easy to get caught up in the little meaningless things. As long as you are in good health, safe from harm and have people in your life that love you and who you love; what more can we ask for?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wednesday

Oh the time is flying. I hate that it is coming to a close. We leave Angola tomorrow, early afternoon for Getzville. That's it. I won't be back here until next time. It all depends on my Dad's surgery for when I get back here. I felt so sad at his house tonight. I went to watch the Sabres game with him. I stayed for two periods. He cleaned the stove. This is a big deal. He hates to clean. (You should see his house). I just can't believe this is the same man of 20 years ago. It's just strange.

When my mom was here it was hard to leave her but at least I left her with my dad. Now he's all alone. It's sad. More later.

Tuesday

The vacation is creeping by. Today's agenda is lunch with my Sister in Law's Step Mom. How funny does that sound? We're going, guess? Chicks! Yes the bowling alley. It's a big deal here in Angola. Bowling, food....what ever can you ask for?

After that I'm driving out to North Collins. It's just north of Collins (in case you want to know). My friend Robin is out there with her three children (ages 3-7). She's this single mom who apparently has been cloned or something. She's amazing.

I really need to focus more on the people who have an interest in my life than those who do not.

Monday

Today I experienced gambling. Yes, I went to the casino and promptly lost $20! My dad took me. He loves it there so I had to see his world. He understands it all. Not me. I think they make it so complicated. You play a video game, say Yahtee yet you are also playing a BINGO card. What's up with that? Then there's the lines you want to play and how much per line.

But it was nice to do something with my dad.

As we were leaving I said, "thanks dad for bringing me here so I could lose $20." He replied, "Well, that'll teach you for gambling." Incidently, he walked out with $45.

Reconnecting

From time to time, I think of the King clan; a kid-infested family that moved into my neighborhood when I was 12. I never because great friends with any of the kids; not really. There was a time when I was "friendly, but as fair weather friends go, the King girls were as bad as any of them.

Yet, still I think of them. I wonder how they are doing. We are all grown up, some of us are dead, some long married and some divorced. I'm not sure what has happened to any of them, not really despite the fact that my brother's family is still lives in the same small town. My neice is going to school with one of the King girl's daughter. I have sent notes to that mother but I have no way of knowing if it was ever received. Recently I sent a letter to the oldest, just asking her how eveyone was doing...nothing overly personally...yet...I hear nothing back.

Okay, I know...I need to move on; just let it go. This time, I think I will. But I have to ask myself, why is this so important to me to reconnect with people who really weren't friends; just people I knew. I asked my sister in law this. She just feels she's okay knowing who she knows and that her circle of friends is complete. She wouldn't ever turn her back to them if she saw them, but she has no need to "seek" out a status on their lives. I guess I'm too enquiring...and no, that's NOT nosy. There is a difference.

Church

We went to church this morning. No, the walls didn't fall in either. Who would have thought. The Pastor got me thinking about finding my place, my purpose. He said that there are two kinds of church goes; the ones who do too much and the ones who don't do enough. Personally I think he's wrong; I think there's a third-the ones who do do enough. Anyway, he says the ones who do too much have a hard time asking for help or deligating because, sometimes it's easier to do it yourself. The ones who don't do enough don't know where they belong and, like me, are afraid if they choose a place and it's not what they hoped, they will be stuck. He says it's not true; that you may end up changing several times before you find your place. This is kind of reassuring to me because at 47 I think I should have found my place and that it's too late. Maybe it's not.

I'm not able to join this church, obviously, since I don't live here but maybe I will change and pick on in Edmond. I have to think about this more.

Day 2

Getting ready to go to Chick's Bowling Alley. Yes, Angola's finest bowling establishment since the 1940s. My nephew is bowling as is my niece. I get to watch them. Aw, the simplier life. Well, you'd think it was but it's hectic. I don't know how my brother and hsi wife do it. They are constantly on the move; running here, singing in the church choir, fixing stuff, doing projects. I wonder if the energy comes from no other alterative? I'm to complacent to be complacent. (Or check the spelling on the word complacent.)

Okay...off to bowling.

I'm home (away from home)

Phil and I took an early (up by 3:am) flight home today. I'm happy to say we got here without any delays. Knock me over with a feather but it's true. Of course flying to any location where you have to change planes is an all day event. Well, so it seemed. Our flight out of OKC left at 5:50am and we were at my mother in laws by noon, so I guess that's not all day.

I'm at my brother's house now. I am very beat so this post is not much. More tomorrow.

One week to Thanksgiving

I took off from work today. My stomach is freaking out and I don't like it. I especially don't like it because I'm getting on a plane tomorrow to go home for Thanksgiving. Oh, I'm sure it will be okay.

I so happy to go home to see my family, especially my dad. He does have to have his bladder removed; that's the bad news but the good news is the cancer hasn't spread any where else. The other bad news is that he has an anorism on his aortia. I guess they will be removing both in a couple weeks. It's sad that his decision to start taking better care of himself was a little too short. It's a wake up call for us all. But he'll be fine, I just know it.

I will probably go to the casino with him. He loves the casino. There's one about 10 miles from his house on an Indian Reservation. We worry that he spends too much time there but...he knows when to stop. Yesterday he walked out of there with $350 of their money. So, sometimes it works.

Anyway, that's all for now.

Faces

Okay, you may have thought the Monster Tree was a stretch. Well, I often find "things" in the weirdest places. Here is a man I see in the tile in the restroom at work. Can you see him? I named him Jughead. When it's time to use the facilities we say, "I'm going to go visit Jughead."

The first photo shows Jughead from afar. He's in the upper left of the center tile. The second is a closeup of Jughead with some help to identify him.

I feel so much better

I had a disagreement with a girl at work. It was silly; stupid, really but we both misinterrupted each other and forgot that it's okay to disagree. I'm happy to say, we worked it out. It's amazing how much better it can make your working life. Eight hours of silence can take forever. I feel like a weight has been lifted off me; like I had a pounding headache that just went away. Truth be told, I have enjoyed talking to her during the day; and I do like to hear her opinions even if I don't always agree with her. But disagreeing is okay.

Oh man...I'm lost for words

Philip didn't think it could happen but it did....I can't think of anything to blog about. Nope. Nothing.

Well, I could be really boring and tell you I'm watching Dancing with The Stars. I really like Marie Osmond and I would like her to win; I doubt she will; she's a little too stiff but I really like her. She reminds me of my friend Liz. Both have that big sun shiney smile and committment to family. I'm sure the race car driver will win which means JulieAnn Haugh or whatever her name is will win again. She was so cute with Pablo last year. Well, that was boring.

My day was good. I was very productive at work. I slipped in a little self serving credit to my boss. Sometimes you just have to blow your own horn. I know, you shouldn't be when the only ones who know how hard you are working are you and God...well, that should be enough but...well it's not. Sorry God. So I did it; not so sudtle though.....but oh well.

Time to Learn

I have access to a ton of online classes. A ton! Everything from Adobe Illustrator to Microsoft Project. Now, I just have to make myself do it. This is why this post is short. But post I did for today!

Intuition or Lack there of

I have no intuition. None. Zero. Zip. Null. Okay..maybe a little. I did feel that the Buffalo Bills would win today but that and two other games (the same ones other's picked in my Pickem League)I got right. None of my upsets happened. Well, it upsets me but I guess that doesn't count. I can't "feel" lottery numbers either. I get an idea in my head; think it's a winner..really "feel" it but no. Nothing. If you want a team to win, you might want to let me know so I can root for the other team; you're assured a win. I could have won big on the NCAA tourney last spring but of course, the team I rooted for who was so close lost in the final minute. I'm the kiss of death.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I know there are worse things in life. Just felt like ranting.

Thinking about my Mama

Aw...I have discovered that my dad has bladder cancer. I have no idea what level he is or how much there is in him or what the prognosis is; he had a bone scan and a c-scan but he doesn't see his doctor until Wednesday. I guess they are not so concerned about it, otherwise you'd think they'd move a little quicker.

I can't help and wonder if my mom has anything to do with this. Not in a vendictive way, mind you. My dad quit smoking last Christmas. Not because he wanted to but he needed a triplet way bypass operation. After two months is the hospital, he figured it didn't make any sense to start again. So he quit. For a while, I imagined my mom up in heaven saying, "Oh sure, now you quit!" I'm very surprised, and overjoyed that he has stuck to it.

Co-existing

Remember on Melrose Place when one character slept with another character's spouse and three weeks later the injured party invited the skank to her party? It was like they never really hated each other; just got injured and moved past the anger. This is, no doubt, a bit extreme but that's TV.

In reality, people have disagreements and they can, at times, get heated but the mature, big person(s) let it go and forgive and forget. The childish one's hold a little disagreement tight to their chest, let it steep in their psycie to develop hate or distain. Yes, we can't like everyone we meet and we may disagree with those we tolerate. We tolerate them because it makes for better living conditions.

I feel bad for those who can't get over a simple disagreement and allow it to end a relationship. That's just sad.

ATTENTION PLEASE

Do people who have their various body parts pierced long for attention? Is that the reason why people get tattoos? A woman I see often does. She believes that people borne male who dress in woman's apparell and want to be women, are asking for attention. She thinks the two are the same; that is nose-pierced-tattoed ladan-colorful-mohawked-wearing people are callng for the same attention as transsexual individuals. And each are open for ridicule. I say there are differences in the two. The former brought on their differences themselves. Transsexuals are repairing something that just happened to them. They didn't ask to be born the wrong sex. I doubt that anyone has said, "I wish I was born with a ring in my nose."

Coke free

I've been coke free since Monday at 9:36 am. So far, it's not so bad. I really haven't had any major cravings for it. I think I'm just ready to take better care of myself. I even took my calcium this morning...see. Also, I have to agree with my boss who told me that Diet Coke makes you more hungry. It seems to be true. I was constantly hungry when I was on coke (ha) and now, not so much.

I even went to McDonalds today, and although Coke was on the menu I didn't get it. I have discovered, though, Sprite is not 7-up. But so far, so good.

How Honest are you?

How honest are you? If you're at a restaurant, say IHOP, and the bill has been miscalculated to your advantage, do you bring it to the waitress's attention? If you put a bag of dog food under the cart at WalMart but forgot to tell the cashier or forget to take it off the cart for her to scan, do you go back into the store to pay for it? The bank teller miscounts and gives you an extra $10 bill back, do you take it back to the bank?

I have a friend who insists she will go back to correct an error. She doesn't want two unpaid for iced teas on her bill that the waitress forgot to add to stand in the way of her trip to Heaven.

I admire that but I can honestly say, I try to be honest but I won't say I always am. It does depend on who it is that suffers. If it's a small mom and pop cafe, I'd bring the error to their attention. If it's WalMart, I probably won't. If I'm buying Girl Scout cookies and the 12 year old girl charges me for 2 boxes and I had bought 3, I'd tell her. It really depends. I guess this means I'm selectively dishonest. I have never, nor would I ever blantantly steal but if the cashier or waitress aren't doing their jobs; I'm not going to go out of my way to correct them. If this means I'm dishonest, well, if the label fits...

Happy Birthday to ME!!!!

Yes, it's my birthday and I don't mind telling you. I think birthdays are meant for celebration! Celebrating 46 years on this great green earth. I don't mind telling my age. Heck I don't mind telling you I weight 150 lbs. I don't get that, why some woman won't tell their age or their weight. What's up with that? We are what we are and as long as we are good and follow the rules of life and law, why not celebrate who we are? I've worked hard to reach 47 by golly! I need to celebrate it!

Word Wasters

I live with a man who wastes words. I mean it. He's a big word waster. I tell him there are people in third world nations who would just love to have those words. How does one waste words, you ask?

By telling me he has a dentist appointment at 2PM....PM, like I thought he might be going in the early morning.

He tells me when it's raining outside. Yes, he includes "outside" in the event I might think it's raining in our living room.

Sometimes I don't mind when he wastes words. Like when he tells me he loves me...very much. :)

What if my words fall on blind eyes?

I'm big on snail mail letter writing. I love to write letters. I'm just in need of an audience. I write to one family back home. Of course, I never hear back from them but each time I see them, they say how they love to read my letters. I just, kind of wish, I heard this feedback more often...like in between letters from me. I have recently started writing to a cousin back home. We have always been friendly but never really connected until this past summer. Her sister died unexpectly. I wrote to her to lend my support and let her know I was thinking about her. When I saw her over the summer she was unusually happy to see me, telling me she loved me and wanted us to be closer. So, I've written to her. Like all my letters, and I'm sure this is true of everyone, I write first asking her how she's doing. This takes up about 5% of the letter. The rest is about me..what I'm doing, what's been happening around me. I believe this is how most people write if they were to take the time to write letters. There's just a part of me that wonders if the receiptant really gives a darn? Are they enthralled to know that I just painted my living room? Do they really care that my husband is back in school? That's kind of the problem with snail mail...the response is so slow and at times, like in my case, not happening.

Oh, I understand some people just don't like to write. I get that. I just hope the receiptant isn't saying to themselves, "And I need to know this, why?" I don't think it's a waste of my time because I'm doing what I need to do...WRITE! Whether or not it's being read...that's secondary.

Kicking the Coke Habit

I'm going to do this. I have to. On Monday, I'm stopping at Sonic on my way to work to get my last diet Coke w/ Vanilla. I will have to have it drank by 10am. Before 10, I will be 46 years old; after 10, I will be 47 years old. I want to be able to say, I haven't had a coke since I was 46. I have to do this. Coke, Dr Pepper, Pepsi....any carmel colored carbinated drink has phospheric acid and this is bad. Bad bad bad. PA is not good. It depletes your body of calcium. I need all the calcium I can get.

This is going to be very hard. I love my Diet Coke. I will admit I'm addicted. Does anyone know a 12 step program to kick this coke habit?

Day Two

I'm a firm believer that everyone should write down what they believe in; what their views are so that in ten years they can look back at it. It's not necessary to write every day about the day to day happenings (although that's okay too) but just write your belief in topics like abortion, adultery, having children or not, politics, religion, etc. Just write it and seal it and not read it until ten years have past. You might surprise yourself.

There are days where...

I'd like to ask my boss if she's having misgivings with her decision five months ago to add the likes of me to her staff. This was one of those days where I searched for a smile or a chuckle from her to reassure me that she's not repulsed by her decision to add me to her payroll. Some days you just feel stupid. Today was that day

Let the fun begin...

It's National Blogging Month and I'm ready. You are going to find out so much about me this month. Maybe more than you'd want. Maybe I'll have to make stuff up, just to have something to say. We'll see. Maybe I'll just share some funny stories. Yeah...that's the ticket. More soon.